Beyond Belief

Just finished watching "Beyond Belief"--two American women rise above personal tragedy and sacrifice to serve other women.

One of my favorite quotes from the documentary:

" . . . mothers are mothers are mothers and women are women are women . . . "

We are more alike than any of us realize.

Rrooaarrr!

I think that most kids Merritt's age are getting proficient with animal sounds. Not Merritt. He prefers the dinosaur roar since that is what he prefers to play with at home.

When we are trying to keep him occupied in Sacrament, we use a touch and feel book that illustrates Bible stories. It kind of goes like this:

Parent: Look, Merritt, baby Moses.
Merritt: (in a soft voice) Rooaarrr!

Parent: Look, Merritt, a lamb.
Merritt: (in a soft voice) Rooaarrr!

Parent: Look, Merritt, baby Jesus.
Merritt: (in a soft voice) Rooaarrr!

Parent: Look, Merritt, Jonah and the whale.
Merritt: (in a soft voice) Rooaarrr!

Parent: Look, Merritt, Jesus with all the children.
Merritt: (in a soft voice) Rooaarrr!

Parent: Look, Merritt, an alligator.
Merritt: (in a soft voice) Rooaarrr!

Parent: Okay, that one works there.

He loves dogs right now is adding that sound to what he says. He is also pretty good at making car sounds when he plays cars with Evy. Tonight, he said "Amen" when he clapped at the end of the prayer.

Pass the carrion, pwease?

Evy loves to play cars. And, when you play cars with him, there is no way you can halfheartedly play. You have to hold the car and make it move and make it talk the ENTIRE time.

Thankfully, I think due to his dad, he now doesn't lean on the violent crashing the entire time he plays. He'll do crashing in slow mode.

Today, I was "The King" and in a desperate move started interviewing all the dinosaurs in the room. Evy hopped right in.

In interviewing Stegosaurus--
The King: What are those things on your back?
Steggie: Those are plates, they help me stay cool. They also protect me.
The King: Who do they protect you from?
Steggie: Meat eaters who want to EAT MEEEE!
The King: What are meat eaters?
Steggie: They eat meat!
The King: What is meat?
Steggie: You know, like carrion, dead animals.

Chills and Thrills

This week brought the beginning of our "rabbit" fence. Can we say Brer Rabbit? We are halfway there to protecting our precious wee plants. Sunday brought our first Margherita Pizzas for the season using our starting bounty. We do miss Cafe Sano back in Reston.

Sheila danced an incredibly awesome routine "If My Friends Could See Me Now" with the Activity Committee for her ward in the Talent/No Talent Show. Proof that her dancing prowess peaked at age 15 ("Can't Touch This!").

Erik held down the fort while Sheila worked with the youth this week. He's been working late preparing for meetings and travel trips. The last one: Mexico. The next one: St. Louis (he loves that arch).

Evy and Merritt are busy growing. Merritt is teething something wicked but Evy tries to help out all he can when Merritt is having a hard time. Evy running to share his blankie is something we see quite often these days.

The weather has been beautiful!

The following link is to an incredibly fun family act "Special K and the Candy Wrappers" who performed an original song called,"Junk Food Eater!" at our ward's talent show. It is hysterically good and you can hear Everett asking to join his friends at the beginning. And, Everett loves to watch it over and over!

We've got PRODUCE!

I'm happy to report that we've got some strawberries growing. Our tomato plants are flowering. Our beans are climbing. Our squash is crawling, and our herbs look herbish.

I'm sure I'm paying more for water than I would to just buy the produce, but Everett gets so excited when he looks out the window and shouts, "IT is GGROWing, Mom!"

And, Merritt is always ready to play in the water and the dirt.

We were at the Dallas Arboretum earlier this week. And, it was a marvelously, dewishous, beautiful day! Thanks to the gracious giving of our friends, we went along for the ride and played, picnicked, experienced the mists, and ran through Texas Town. The hills that the kids rolled down and scampered on where so green and refreshing. That place is so inspiring and really shows that "stuff" does really grow in Texas. It sure was a day to treasure as Texas heat is heading in.

Is That Jesus?

We were window shopping through the aisles of Target last week (yes, I did refrain from buying anything), waiting for the pharmacy to fill a prescription.

We happened to pass a gentleman who was in a long-ish tunic looking shirt and had darker skin and shoulder length brown hair.

Evy gasped, turned to me and said,"Is THAT Jesus?"

No, baby, but you are paying attention aren't you?

Chills and Thrills

The week was busy and long.


Thrills were:

• The composter. But, maybe I already mentioned that?
• A Night of Americana: sharing some of those "must see" movies and iconic American foods with a friend who will soon return to Italy. Rootbeer floats, rice crispy treats, sugar cereals, Talladega Nights, Napoleon Dynamite, and subtitles were just a few of the elements.
• I had the chance to go part of our youth's Youth Conference. What an inspiring group of teenagers!

Chills:

• Had to postpone Erik's "Flamin' Hot Birthday Brunch."
• I've got some nerve inflammation. Lots of pills, but it is getting better.
• Erik went out of town. Thankfully, he is back and brought vanilla with him.

Merritt is officially a table dancer. We'll see how long before he scales the banister.

Ownership

Evy is ALWAYS asking "why"---always.

Today I asked him "why" about something. He turned to me and said,"Only I can ask why."

Cheeky thing.

He will be shaving the peach fuzz soon.

Today, Merritt is not bowlegged anymore. Like poof. He stands straight.

He still does his deep knee bends when he dances, so cute!

Most Ladies . . . .

Erik: I got a surprise for your mom, Everett!
Everett (excitedly): What is it?
Erik: It is a composter. Most ladies want flowers or jewelry. Not your mom, she wants something for trash.


This beauty is made of recycled plastic. It is currently in pieces, and I will have to wait to get it going until Erik gets back from the south. But, I am so EXCITED!!

And, it is a tumbling composting barrell. . . . sigh . . .

Chills and Thrills

(I feel like I repeat myself every time when I say,"Busy week for us." I should just say BWFU and go on.)


Highlight was attending a Frisco RoughRider's Baseball game on Saturday with colleagues from Erik's work. We were able to watch from a party porch which was great since Merritt likes to roam. I think the other team won, totally wasn't paying attention except to distract Merritt with what was going on when he fussed, but we had a great time talking with friends.



The garden hasn't died yet, much to my surprise. Today will be in the mid-80s. Good time for it to die if it is going to.



Everett had another blood draw last week to check his liver functions and medicine levels. He did really, really well as they take three full vials of blood. His buddy for the event was a spinosaurus (and can Dinosaur Train PLEASE come out with some dinosaurs for sale at Target, preferably? I don't know what I am going to do when he wants a mircoraptor for his next "blood draw buddy").



I now have permission to get a composter!! Whhaooooo! I am very excited about this and, yes, that kind of makes me a nerd. Check out this beauty that we are trying to get this afternoon before some other guy beats us to it:

Erik and I have been busy trying to negotiate with a couple of hospitals and physicians for some obscene medical bills. And, thanks to Erik and his awesome ambassador skills (along with my research skills, of course) we have been blessed to shave almost $2,000 off the bills. Lesson (1) You can always try to negotiate. Lesson (2) Negotiate before ahead of time if possible. Erik, You Rock!

We have lots planned for this week. I hope to remember to take pictures and share.

The Things They Say

Thursday I was hauling laundry up the stairs with Merritt crawling up right in front of me. Takes a long time for little ones to get up the stairs because they are difficult. Everett could see that the load I was carrying was kind of weighing me down.

"Mom, give some to me so I can help."
"Thanks, Evy, but Merritt is in the way. I think I've got it," I declined.
"If you give me some, I can make it easy for you!"

Merritt is busy adding words. He loves babies "ay--byyy". Almost every food item right now is requested by using the banana sign.

Pretty regularly, when I correct Everett,teaching him about safety or what is mean and nice. He'll take a step back after the interaction or after the time out and say,"Mom, I won't _____ again."

When I start making dinner, Everett runs over to ask if he can help cook. When I tell him what we are having, he'll repeat it screaming with joy and run to tell Merritt the menu. When Dad comes home, Everett runs to give Dad, gives him a hug, and tells him in a secretive hushed tone what the delicious dinner will be. "DEWIISHOUS!"

Seedlings Spring of 2010

A couple of days later

A week later

Cilantro, tomatoes, bell peppers, zucchini, spaghetti squash, basil, parsley, green beans, lettuce, and rosemary were planted. Surviving so far with real growth: zucchini, spaghetti squash, green beans, tomatoes, and rosemary . . . the rest, I'm not sure. But I've transplanted those with some great growth going on in the garden. The others I am hovering over constantly. I think the cilantro is dead. sad.

Easter 2010

Easter was complete this year with coloring eggs, egg hunts, and visiting Grandma and Poppa's house for Sunday morning conference and yummy breakfast. Everett did a great job of hiding Merritt's eggs.

Merritt on the Move, Or Not

There is pretty much no stopping Merritt. Almost. He is on the move ALL the time! And, if he can't physically reach what he wants, he'll use whatever he can to climb or move over to overcome that obstacle.

Here is one time where he totally got stuck!

Bonus Pictures:

He found Everett's cap, put it on, ran in to show us, and started dancing away. What a crack-up!

Chills and Thrills

In short, it has been an extremely busy two weeks. With the beginning of my new calling in YW and finishing up some other obligations, neither one of the parents has been "in" on the same night more than 3 of the 7 nights of the week. This week is going to be just the same.

In all, we are doing really well and appreciated Erik's three day weekend.

Thanks to Grandpa and Poppa, we were able to join friends and see a taping of "America's Got Talent!" which we thought was a great experience! The boys loved hanging out with their grandparents for the evening.

Erik turned "almost 40," again. He is a pretty good sport to "let" me tease him. We spent the weekend trying to fit in what he wanted to eat, etc. He was also a great sport in trimming the tree, hauling out some prickly bushes, and sharing his birthday with Conference weekend and Easter. He has never been a fan of having his birthday on Conference weekend because it puts a limit on the partying, but we are going to schedule something soon to rectify that.

Sheila, that's me, is running again. She has a running partner for a couple days of the week and that helps immensely. Boston 2012 is ON! She also transplanted several batches of seedlings into the garden. She expects all of them to die any day now. As house elf, she feels behind all the time, but she expects that will be so until Merritt isn't thrashing the place anymore . . . maybe another two years? (hard to tell)

Everett is a delight! He functions better these days with a nap . . . but that means that bedtime is later. Last night, we "caught" him dancing in his doorway to the music that he could overhear from the TV. It was a sort of dino-disco dance complete with fingers splayed like T-Rex claws. He recently lost his blue Lightning McQueen though we still look for it everyday. He delights in displaying his wickedly awesome skills in making a Hook'em sign with his fingers. He also has a special skill in spotting "racing tyyyyres"---wheels with rims, not hubcaps. What a crack up! (seizure medication is doing the job and so far there are no negative effects on his liver, AWESOME!)

On a special note: We are learning the alphabet together. The magic moment for those letters to have meaning for him came when we got him his own library card. The librarian asked if he wanted to sign his name . . . "oh yeah!" and so we wrote his name together. Thus, that moment of teaching letters in context came and we have been talking about numbers and letters since then. He wanted to learn "E" and "3" first and enjoys the seek and finds to spot them when we are out and about.

He helped me hide Merritt's Easter eggs this weekend. It is crazy how nice and grown-up he is for a three year old. Seriously. He is just a thoughtful brother.

Merritt is on fire. He basically gets everywhere he wants and still does the Greasy Watermelon trick when he is displeased with a change in direction from Mom or Dad. Active, active, active! This boy can dance. He turns on his dad's clock radio and busts a move whenever he is in the master bedroom. He loves being outside and riding in the car with the wind flowing around him. Although busy, he is extremely sweet and is always ready to give a hug or kiss. Right now we are back on the nebulizer for long term, and it is helping him, thankfully.

Our journal for 2010 is extremely thin. I've got to get better at posting now that our camera is in working order with a cord that I can find. The boys have grown so much!

Chills and Thrills

We started off the week with dinner with Grandma and Poppa. It was great to see them as we dined for the first time outside (a wee bit cold towards the end). During the week, we had friends over (all boys) and made bird feeders, which our birds love. Ended the week with a chance to hang out with Aunt Debbie at The Heard.

This week has been cost reduction week. We've been making changes to cut down on expenses and upgrade for better efficiency. (which is always a good idea but especially when you keep getting "surprise" medical bills in the mail)

Amazingly fun weekend! Fajitas with Aunt Debbie and Rossella. We splurged with s'mores and rice crispy treats.

Erik and Everett went to a Dallas Stars hockey game on Saturday and came back with an actual hockey stick (well, smaller than the real ones but taller than Evy!). Evy was thrilled with the experience and was able to take a friend, Jackson, and his dad.

On Sunday, we had like 9 inches of snow in our backyard. The best part was it was beautiful for a whole 24 hours and basically gone within a couple of hours the next morning. We finished out a restful Sunday at a friend's potluck. Always amazes me how much others have patience for the antics of children. We had a great time!

And, the wasps are back. For. Real. We are at a total loss as to how they are getting into the house and as to where their nest is. And, yes, we've had the bug guy over. Consensus is, until we find a nest, to use a rolled up newspaper (insert eye roll).

Sheila has a new calling, 2nd Counselor in the Young Women program (she is working with the girls 12 and 13 years old in the congregation she attends). She is excited about working with the girls! She is also back to running, a bit behind on the Boston Marathon training due a pause so her feet could heal, but she is back on the trails.

Evy and Merritt are well. Merritt was wheezing again, but today he is finally better.

Erik is holding down the fort amazingly as always. Lots of late work nights recently. You should hear how excited the boys scream when he gets home from work. Nothing better than that!

We've got our garden started . . . sort of. We are looking forward to being done with the tree trimming so we can get it all planted. Sheila can't wait for the cilantro to start growing.

The weather is AWESOME and it was great to see part of the sunrise this morning during the run.

Merritt, Merritt

Poor second child Merritt.

My updates on him are long overdue.

They are coming. Here is a preview.

He is on the move all the time.

Climbing tables, chairs, toilets, desks, drawers, couches, and recognizing that if he can get to the toy box--then he can reach another chair--and then the picture on the wall.

To watch him move is to experience wonder at this bowlegged little mover.

And, boy, is he bowlegged.

We all love him.

He is the hugger and the kisser in the house.

Moments of hysteria are saved for when he sees the milk and is afraid he won't get any (but only if warmed in a BOTTLE--little stinker).

When he doesn't want to stop but you want him to stop, he'll fling his hands to the sky and make his body slipperier than a greased up watermelon.

He knows when he up to no good and tries to get away.

He looks for his brother the moment he wakes up and watch out big brother if you aren't awake yet.

"Bawww!" (ball)

"DADA!" nothing like getting your named squealed in little boy delight.

"uu-uu-uu" means water, food, toy, book--exclusively.

He is too busy to sit still to read a book. Often, I just read as he wanders the room. Scripture time is harder as he isn't content to wander at that time of the day . . . he wants to dismantle.

Out of the blue signed for banana yesterday and said,"nana." I taught him that once like weeks ago.

And, he is smarter than his momma.

"Because We All Have a Right to Great Design . . ."

. . . is how Shelly aptly states her take on photography. This is one talented lady and photographer with experience in front of and behind the camera (be sure to check out her info page for a gorgeous shot of her). I know her because her husband grew up with Erik . . . and she has fed us on more than one occasion, which was particularly awesome when we were homeless and had no furniture. And, I've been eagerly awaiting this website so that I can share her with you!

The great thing about her is she knows how to get a great picture and how to avoid those awkward "I look like a total dork" poses. My personal downfall the is odd head pose.

Please take a look at her newly unveiled website:
Shelly Townsend Photography

If you are in the Dallas/Fort Worth area, contacting her about a photo shoot would be worth your time. In fact, you can enter to win a free session with her by sending a message through her contact option on her website and joining her fan page on facebook.

Cool Stuff . . . thermometers

I'll get to the best thermometers we've ever used in a bit. And, yes, there are some great ones out there that make even the digital thermometers look antiquated.

First, I am just frustrated with Evy's gag reflux. It is a given that when he has a cough, we know he will throw up several times. And, this cold was no different. He did end up having an ear infection, which means medicine, which means further instigation for the gag reflux (so we always make sure there is enough "extra" to cover at least two vomited doses).

We usually weather it well and respond to the vomiting as a matter of fact in the course of how he gets better.

Did you know that vomit will bounce off hardwood floors? Yeah, I am trying to make his antiseizure medicine as a part of our routine and to start approaching it as such. Dumb idea. I should have made sure we were right by the bathtub as usual. (He has only thrown up this medicine twice over the past week and a half--so, I think we'll stick with it.)

I just spent an hour cleaning up a freshly mopped floor, wiping down all our dining chairs and table, trying to keep Merritt happy because he isn't used to the vomiting yet and it scares him, and trying to not make a big deal of it because I don't want Evy to develop any further issues with vomiting.

My friend in this journey is in meetings all day. I miss being able to vent.

It may be time for another trip to the ear/nose/throat doctor.

I am just frustrated right now.

Thermometers--because of our, I guess, former relationship with febrile seizures, we have purchased and tried every thermometer out there. These two have been the best ones by far:

Exergen TemoralScanner--we found on one sale at Walgreens recently. I feel like some sort of medical professional when I use this one because the science behind it is explained with the product and it is so cool, I think.

Mobi Ultra Digital Thermometer--less expensive than the Exergen, we've used this thermometer the longest and it has withstood the test of time with the kids "taking" temperatures, also. Make sure you learn how to turn the "talking" mode off before throwing away the product information.

gifts

I have come across several publications recently related to baby showers, parties, and gift giving. And, I am appalled at what I have read related to the general topic of gift giving. In general, much of the irritation revolves around the entitlement that the honorees of the occasion have around gifts.


The baby shower recipient who is irritated at her guests because they didn't use the registry. HELLO! What about the fact that it is a gathering of people willing to surround you around the birth or adoption of your baby? What about the truly incalculable level of love that they offer in attending to say,"I love you and want you to know that you are important and that your baby is important"? What about the scores of stories and nuggets of wisdom that they will be able to offer you as your along your journey as a parent. A registry is a list of suggestions, not a list of demands. A baby shower should be viewed as a celebration, not an occasion to get goods.


The birthday party honoree that accepts gifts but purposefully opens then afterward. Now, I know that special occasions can be hectic, and I have been guilty of not opening a gift at an event at the moment it was given, but I always feel bad that I wasn't able to open it in the Giver's presence. A bigger pet peeve: when children do not open birthday gifts at birthday parties. How on earth am I able to show my sons the intricacies of gift giving if the recipients horde the gifts on a table showing off the bounty but ignoring the opportunity to open and thank the children at the moment of giving? If you don't want the hassle of opening gifts at a party, then state on the invitation "no gifts, please." If you feel like you are going to be mobbed while opening the gifts, invite fewer people. I actively include my kids when making or buying gifts. Including the gift givers for the "full circle" of the giving is important.


Do you remember Gift of the Magi? Gifts that showed sacrifice, thoughtfulness, and love. We've been giving gifts a long time as humans (some research has shown that the first gifts were bark and moss). I think most people give to show love, to express concern, to fill a desire to better the other person's life. As receivers of gifts, do we keep that in mind?

Chills and Thrills

We are on the mend! Alefreakingleuia!

Merritt is much better. He escaped from his crib again this afternoon. I came upstairs to the sound of knocking. He was knocking from inside his room on his door because he wanted to come out . . . and, yes, he had totally dismantled the humidifier, that wonder that has water.

Evy is feeling better (he was afflicted by the middle of the week). Erik is better and Sheila took a nap!

We had a great time at Dessert Group last night with several other families from our congregation. Just a great group of people with some really nice kids!

I don't remember much else that happened during the week except I have never seen our house that messy/disorganized. We've mopped and the kitchen is clean. All is well.

Merritt has a well check this Tuesday. That in itself isn't interesting, but Sheila and the pediatrician's office are at an impasse. Tuesday will tell if Sheila made the right choice in continuing to go there. (Pediatrician was adamant on the phone that all will be taken care of despite, uh, inaccuracies in the past.)

We continue to stay busy with our callings.

High note: the weather is warming up. We fed the ducks and seagulls (?!) at the local "lake" on Saturday.

Great Documentary

According to Netflix, my taste in movie viewing runs along the lines of documentary, independent films, films with strong female leads (I can hear my family chuckle at this one), and inspiring family movies. Never really considered how to categorize my prefences, but they make me sound kind of boring.

In any regards, I watched a documentary recently that was worthwhile, A Walk to Beautiful. Brings a reminder to state that I love my parents, my husband, and my children. I am very blessed.

Chills and Thrills

In all, it was a busy week. Aunt Debbie's Baby Party went well. The games, food, and hostesses--awesome! We LOVED having the cousins come to visit, and Sheila especially appreciated visiting with her sisters and parents. We enjoyed celebrating Riley's birthday on Saturday!

We are now cable free. Took the help of two tech savvy friends. And, the installation of an antennae in our attic and some new technology (bye, bye 1996 TV)--we are cancelling cable this week. We've actually not used it for over a month now. And, we need it no more. And, I can record the beloved Dinosaur Train for whenever we want to watch it. "Waahooo-we love to chew!"

Merritt has added the word "ball" to his list that includes: hi, bye-bye, night-night, dada, sorry (oowwyy), momma, baby, Evy (ewwyy), and no (nununu). He is great at playing ball and is the best dancer in the house.

Evy, thankfully, has been able to take his new medication with relative ease! This was quite a worry because it is an acid . . . not very tasty (and no one in our town carried the medication . . . less than 1% of his peer population has the type of problem that he has). And, the pharmacy promised to keep the medication in stock for him.

We've had our share of medical bills lately, and they continue to stack up. Merritt went to an acute care facility on Sunday and the ER on Monday. He is finally pulling out of the fever from his ear infection, upper respiratory infection, and wheezing. We are back on the nebulizer every four hours, and he will not tolerate his steroid. (In fact, Erik is cleaning up the vomit from tonight's medicine right now.) Not sure what we will do 'cause none of our usual tricks worked. But, at least tonight his breathing wasn't as labored as the previous two nights.

(Grandma Albritton---We LOVE the new stethoscope!)

Erik is braving a back injury and a touch of some cold. We (insert "Sheila") are looking forward to cheerful Erik making a comeback. We (insert "Sheila") may not laugh at every joke, but he always lifts our spirits.

Sheila is busy with her calling and the boys. They had some great playdates last week with boys the same age as Everett. With Merritt's recent sickness, Sheila is trying to not fall into a desperate hysteria at the end of each day---and is doing so with marginal (ah-hem) success.

State of the Neurons

*Neurons (c) IMB Labs

Today was the neurological follow-up to Evy's testing. The doctor started the conversation off by reviewing what I had told him about Evy's seizures and "neuro-ticks." Didn't seem like the kind of thing to do if the tests showed all clear.

The MRI was fine. There were no physical abnormalities on the MRI that would explain what happened or is happening. No signs of an aneurysm or a brain tumor. The EEG, however, did show seizure activity. In all, we have come to the conclusion that Evy experiences generalized seizures, specifically absence seizures. It isn't a clear science particularly in someone as young as Evy. We will start him on medication today.

Hopefully, since his brain is so young, preventing the seizures will allow the brain to, in a sense, heal and prevent the need for lifelong use of anti-seizure medication. Or, the condition is heredity and he may grow out of it. At this time, he'll be on medication, twice a day, for two years. The medication does have side-effects. So, we'll be going in for a blood test in three weeks and then routinely go in for a blood test every three months.

If all has been posited correctly, he should fall less and not have any "illness" related seizures while he is on his medication. (One of my concerns has always been how much he falls when he is running, standing still, whenever. For awhile I just attributed it to clumsiness and his delay in motor skills. Now, his falling makes more sense.)

And, we have determined that he never had febrile seizures. It is more likely that Everett has been experiencing this generalized seizure disorder since at least a year old and those febrile seizures were grand mal seizures triggered by illness or fatigue.

We are grateful. Evy, despite being premature, has had relatively few long-term issues. He is bright, cheerful, inquisitive, and ever sensitive to others.

In the elevator going to the doctor, another couple stepped into the car with us, and Evy slid over to Merritt's stroller, stroked Merritt's head, and said,"Don't worry, I'll protect you." He is a sweet boy.

Cool Stuff . . . for the wiggly wittle one

Merritt is a mover and a groover. When he plays he roams the rooms, the house, climbing and emptying everything in his way.

When he is in a grocery cart, his curiosity and propensity to move aren't hindered at all by that strap that comes with the wheeled vehicle no matter how tight I pull it. And, he can stand within seconds . . . and get himself into trouble.

Each time we went out and used the grocery cart, I ended up continuously restrapping him in after he maneuvered himself to the surfing position again, and again, and again. You know the position . . . where he is standing facing away from me with his hands gripped firmly on the cart squealing with delight as if I was moving fast enough for wind to rush through his hair.

A couple of months ago, in that place of many embarrassing mommy moments, the grocery store, he stood up-turned around-and jumped for a flip all in the moment it took for me to look at a label and back . . . split second timing. Thankfully, that inadequate strap was adequate enough to hold him from flipping completely over (I was lucky he didn't step out of the strap before jumping). He was upside down with "grill" marks across his face. In all, no permanent damage. Some blood (and, yes, I am going to start his dental savings account any day now), some hysterics, and lots of concerned looks from passerbyers.

That day I went home to find a harness. One that would keep him safely inside the confines of the sitting area so he wouldn't flip over and "grill" his face again.

I decided on the "baby sit-tight"--and, no, the "I'm wearing overalls" look isn't quite what I would have gone for in the baby couture . . . but it keeps him safe. The straps that go over his shoulders prevent him from standing up (and the straps are adjustable). It is pretty compact and fits right in with even my smallest bag that I use with the boys. After using it for awhile now, I consider it one of the best purchases I've made for him.

Even better, he doesn't mind it all . . . and probably would like it if I brought his cowboy hat to complete the look.

I love me a good football movie . . .

Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny. [by jack handy in case you couldn't tell]

How often do we really put "important" in the proper place with "urgent" . . . How often do we respond only because we are the ant . . . How often do we put energy into something that, on the surface, has no tie to us but is solely for someone else . . . How often do we put ourselves before others, before others' children?

When Evy was a young toddler, he was placing books in the book return box at the library. A lady rushed in, shoved Evy aside to put her books in while breathily saying,"sorry," and then ran further into the library. Do we do that . . . okay, not literally shove a kid, but do we overlook children? I am sure the lady would have been appalled if she had really thought about what she was doing.

I've been thinking quite a bit about stewardship recently. The stewardship of children.

Several weeks ago, I spent hours trying to figure out how to present the needs of children who are at-risk to a group that, at best, probably gives the topic a passing thought, when forced to. The group members aren't callous . . . but, in reality, they probably don't think they come across a child who is "at-risk" on a daily basis. So, why should they care about what I have to say?

Why do I care about what I have to say?

I ended up presenting it as a leadership issue. Those children that are at-risk eventually become adults and the behaviours, attitudes, and habits that developed through their childhood are part of who they are and how they function. As leaders, we work with adults who were children that were at-risk. That kind of strategy.

After presenting, I am not sure it was the right way to present it. I know of at least one person in the group that refused to embrace the idea that we should hold ourselves responsible as leaders to meet those we lead where they are and find ways to support them for success.

I think quite a bit about my role as a mother in my home and what responsibilities I have to children outside my home. What can I do on a daily or weekly basis to be a help, a support, a whirl of energy for improvement rather than a blind eye? On the days when I am grateful for just a chance to use the bathroom by myself, I would say that I have no idea how to accomplish all that and make sure the kids don't eat cookies for dinner (though I think Erik would be okay with that one).

As I push ideas around in my head, squashing some . . . making room for others . . . colliding those that seem to maybe work together, I am sure I'll figure out whatever this is that is motivating me to think about the stewardship of children. The responsibility to them that we all have as adults. To be mentors. To be supports. To be providers. To be teachers. To be examples. To provide love. To provide consequences. To provide safety. To give them space to make mistakes.

I love me a good motivating sports movie . . . especially if it revolves around football (Rudy being my favorite). I recently saw the movie The Blind Side. It might rank right up there with my Rudy. To me, this movie was all about the stewardship of children.

As I endeavor to find ways to teach my children about Christ and about right and wrong all while we change diapers, laugh, get on each others' nerves, and fight with the cable company, I don't want to let the urgent cloud what is important . . . I want to harness this motivation to do something to better embrace fulfilling the stewardship of children and do it alongside my children. I lack the eloquence to fully phrase my meaning here. But, fragmentally phrased, we need to honor the stewardship of all children . . . it is our responsibility as adults.

And so, I have no grand resolutions. I have no huge project to do this. I just have to continue to keep it uppermost and try to do it every day.

Chills and Thrills

At some point, I will post pictures . . . until then, know that we are smashingly handsome and dazzlingly beautiful!

I've been reading a new "digital" project for a couple of weeks now and deem it worthy to share. If you are interested in the role of women and how other women fulfill their own paths, I'd suggest taking a look: www.mormonwomen.com

This past week we had a great time gearing up for our Valentine Party, which we had last Sunday, a visit from Grandma Powell, and taking care of the day to day business.

We invited over several friends for a Valentine dinner, made Valentines to share in preparation (which included our yearly "recycle crayon bits" project in making new crayons in the shape of hearts), and enjoyed good health this past week. Sheila made a pavlova, a dessert named after Russian Anna Pavlova, for the first time, and it was HUGE. Much bigger than she expected. (She also made a lemon tart which ended up being more of her favorite.)

Merritt is on fire walking everywhere and climbing everywhere else. Evy is doing just fine.

Erik and Sheila went to a movie for the first time in ages. Excellent time! There is an Indian restaurant in our little town now . . . yippee!

Last week we had over 10 inches of snow. Everett loved it and enjoyed going sledding (on the golfcourse) for the first time. And, just as a perfect experience with snow goes, it is already gone! No grey or yellow snow around here.

We visited with Grandma Powell for several days. Evy and his grandma played "sword fights" and made chocolate covered pretzels (with sprinkles) together. Merritt was charming, as always.

This coming week we are preparing for Aunt Debbie's Baby Party and excited to visit with cousins!

Chills and Thrills

The past several weeks have been busy but good.

We are awaiting the appointment with the neurologist.

In the meantime, we've been able to visit with friends and family here and in Waco. Sheila presented at McClennan Community College. Erik has been working really hard.

In all, we've been relatively healthy and appreciate all our blessings.

Evy has taken to being an ice hockey player. He has a special whistle that he devised . . . he sticks his finger in his mouth, purses his lips and then screams a "whistle." He uses it to start races, get Merritt's attention, and for everyday revelry. He knows how to turn his socks so that they are "swippery" and he can "skate on the ice." Yesterday he told me that his buddies wanted him to go skating with them. I said okay and he proceeded to skate along the hardwood floors.

Merritt is everywhere. He is the cutest one baby demo machine ever. He can now climb up the drawers in the kitchen . . . I am just waiting for him to discover the countertops. He is daily analyzing doorknobs and refuses to drink milk.

This week we have family visiting and a Valentine Party planned.

"I want PIZZA!" screams Evy

We are back from the MRI. All went well with the anesthesia and the staff was wonderful.

Evy is exhausted and is a cranky drunk. I am exhausted. I totally underestimate the stress I experience with each of these procedures. Something about leaving my little boy in the hands of strangers to be put in an artificially induced sleep kind of exhausts me. Then there is the "they are taking longer than they said they would, a lot longer, does that mean something . . . ." Sort of how you are when you apply to college and you get a reply . . . and you anxiously wonder as you walk into the house: is a skinny envelope good or bad? Illogical or not, there it is.

And, Merritt's godmother sends me a link that sends bells going through my head. It helped me with the vocabulary needed to describe what Everett experiences. When he was initially diagnosed with febrile seizures, the doctor basically said "it'll be okay, nothing to worry about for the long term." So, what I focused on was febrile seizures. I didn't try to build a knowledge about epilepsy. I wish I had. I am not saying he has epilepsy, but knowing more about the larger realm of seizures would have made me a better advocate for him.

So, if your child has febrile seizures, take a look at this link and be sensitive to what your child experiences: Types of Seizures

And, Evy just screamed in with, "Where's Merritt?!?" (For the record, a very nice friend offered to watch him longer since Everett is a cranky drunk right now.) Even while Cranky Drunk Evy, Evy thinks about his brother. What a nice boy!

Wanted: A House for 50 Cents

Keeping Everett up until midnight proved harder than I thought. He watched movies and played with us . . . but we eventually resorted to chocolate to keep him up and interested. And, of course we all shared on the goods.

Everett did a marvelous job putting up with the irritations of the EEG! He laid so still while the wires and sticky stuff were placed on his head. He weathered the itchiness of the hospital bed very well and was asleep within ten minutes. Since then, he has been really tired and a tad cranky. But, we don't blame him.

On Tuesday, when we loaded into the car for our long ride to the doctor, I gave him a "magic bag." In the bag was the Chosen Blanket, pjs if he wanted to change for his "nap at the doctor's," magic gloves that he could put on his hands if the wires were bothering him and he wanted to scratch, and 2 surprises.

The first surprise was gum--which he loves for the whole 30 seconds he chews each new piece. The second surprise was a bag of yogurt balls, which I thought he liked. Which he didn't think was the second surprise as he looked at the bag, tossed it aside, and kept digging for the other surprise. "No, this is not the surprise, Mommy."

In an attempt to keep positive vibes going, Erik and I scrounged through the nooks and crannies of the front of the car and I slipped two quarters into his bag.

"MONEY!!!" he screamed when he found the quarters. And, since then, those quarters have been a precious commodity. He pocketed them confidently to take with him into the doctor. He made sure they were in a safe place while he slept . . . and now he plans to spend them.

"I have money. I buy a house?" he asks because he knows that Daddy goes to work so we can have money to pay for our house.

So, anyone know of a house for 50 cents? Evy is interested.

Next stop, MRI with sedation.

EEG tomorrow

Friday was Everett's neurology consult. The doctor was just as concerned as I was about his seizure a couple of weeks ago. Good, in a sense, because it means I wasn't totally overreacting and being sensitive. Bad, well-you know, who wants their child to have something weird enough to warrant a doctor's concern. The result, a quick scheduling of an EEG and MRI. yuck.

(He was amazed at the size of Everett's head. We've already established that big heads run on my side of the family, but it is still a bit comical to see the looks on their faces when they measure him.)

Finding his doctor was a huge hurdle. I miss the options that the DC area has for medical care. I now understand better why people travel hours to find a doctor that is right for them. We were initially scheduled with a 5 doctor staffed pediatric neurology practice not far from our house. But, I never really talked to a person. They emailed me my appointment which was 6 weeks away from the time I called for an appointment. There were TEN attachments to the email . . . and not one mentioned their concern for quality care for my son. They were adamant about an EEG BEFORE meeting the doctor. I was able to ask the doctor if we could delay the EEG until after she, uh, had seen my son. In the end, I felt like Everett's care was second to their punitive policies and crazy scheduling staff that lied to us several times.

So, I went with a doctor that has a home base in Sherman (30 minutes away). He is in my town twice a week. He is the only pediatric neurologist in their practice. But, he LISTENS and he was great with Everett and he was very thorough in answering my questions.

I learned that the "ticks" that Everett had in the past were more serious than his previous pediatric neurologist had considered them. I learned about the potential harm that successive seizures have on the brain even febrile seizures. I learned about how early medication now can prevent a longterm dependency on antiseizure medication. Yes, I've read quite a bit on seizures, but nothing is like a 20 minute conversation with a very thorough medical practitioner who is answering questions related directly to your child.

Today I've been showing Everett images of the children getting an EEG through google images. He thinks that it is silly that he will take a nap at the doctor's office. We've picked out his kitty and his blanket that will help him.

We've been through both an MRI and EEG before . . . but Everett was much younger. The MRI was much easier than the EEG. This time there won't be any medication involved. Alle-freaking-luia!

Adoption and a Great Family

I am placing a new link on the blog. That in itself is not noteworthy. However--the link, the family it speaks about, and why is important to mention is noteworthy

Melanie and Trey Morgan have been our friends for a long time. We knew Melanie and Trey before it was Melanie AND Trey. Trey and Erik grew up together. Melanie and I were undergrads at UT . . . Melanie even helped with our wedding reception. They adopted their son Max as an infant a couple of years ago, and we were lucky to meet him when he was a wee baby. Currently, Trey and Melanie are actively pursuing adoption again.

Please take a look at their profile. We all know the of the power and importance of adoption. Melanie and Trey are spectacular people and parents.

Trey, Melanie, and Max Morgan

Chills and Thrills

Last week we had a great Family Home Evening hosted at our house. It was fun to be filled to the brim.

This weekend we had family over to visit. We went to the Tornadoes ice hockey game, which Everett loved. The cousins had a great time playing together and entertaining the rest of us.

Sheila is enjoying the fact that Merritt is back to better sleeping at night. The weather is warmer and she is loving that.

Everett's speech has just blown us all out of the water. In the past couple of weeks, he has grown so much and started to really, really, really talk. The current favorite . . . dinosaurs.

Merritt is all over the place. He is signing and starting to talk a bit. Nothing stands in his way if he wants something. He will literally bulldoze his way through the house, pushing furniture out of the way with his body, sometimes his head.

Erik is busy at work and with his calling.

The next couple of weeks will be especially busy. It keeps us honest and out of trouble.

A Debut of Sorts

There is this draw to the podium that Evy has had for a couple of months now. Whenever I was in the building setting up or counting this or that for the activity committee, he would want to step up to the podium in the primary room and address his invisible crowd.

Today he had a real crowd with a mircophone that was ON. Poised with the rest of his sunbeam class on the front row, he went for it. Four times, no more no less--as reported by his primary leaders, Evy took the podium (evidently he waited for the gentlemanly long pause between podium users). And, what did he say, what wisdom did he impart to his peers--only a language they could understand because he spoke total jibberish all four times. (he does this sometimes when his mother's native tongue of English fails to fully encapsulate what he is trying to say in that important moment).

The leaders reported that they thought it was riotously funny. So they must have understood him on some level.

Beating the Cold--Baking Style

My house is awesomely cold. Probably not an issue in a regular winter, but it is during this one. They just don't make homes in Texas to withstand cold weather. I am colder here in my home built in the 90s than I was in my townhome in the DC area built in the 70s.

I had a terribly hard time with some dough this afternoon; it would just not rise. I tried to start it early enough to shape it for cinnamon rolls to allow them to rise a second time in the fridge for a party tomorrow. But, it was too cold for the dough to work.

After 4 hours of nonrising, I put a heating pad above and below the bowl, and it is working beautifully! And, so I go out on the internet and other people do the same thing like on a regular basis. Who knew? It is working so nicely, I think I'll do it from here on out.

Whining to Win

Both kids are sick and I have a headache. Evy talks about headaches a lot these days . . . I don't know if it is because he has headaches or the fact that both his dad and I have been carrying around the affliction quite a bit. So far, Evy has decided that vitamins help with headaches.

Merritt, clothed in pajamas, turtleneck, sweatpants, and socks, is in that awful transition from two naps a day to one nap a day. I seem to never judge what kind of day he is having correctly and invariably have to listen to heartstoppingkillercrying interspersed with babble as he figures out what he needs as well. I am always so glad when the transition is over. More time to play and go on field trips.

Everett, clad in rainbow striped rainboots, Lightning McQueen flannel pajamas, flannel shirt, and a runny nose is convinced that he just needs to carry around a roll of toilet paper to catch the nasal drips and use like 20 squares of the tissue for each nostril wipe. He has lost all sense of independent play. Is convinced that watching shows is the only way to help his malady. Even cars and books are just not of interest right now.

I'm in fleece pajamas, cosy long socks, and a flannel shirt. I suppose I should shower but I don't want to change anything because I am finally warm. But, I am thinking I should get me a pair of rainboots, too.

The next decision . . . do I succumb and go with Chicken Little or Hercules or drag a whining preschooler through some activities?

Chills and Thrills

We enjoyed ourselves over the Christmas and New Year holidays. Erik was off, and we visited museums, completed some odds and ends around the house, and enjoyed playing with the boys.

Winters in Texas are typically mild, except for right now. It is downright cold!

Merritt is leaving babyhood behind. He is walking more and more. He is signing "more/all done/night-night" and adding words to those as well. He loves his Daddy and playing with his brother. You better watch what you eat around him because he wants a little of everything he sees.

Everett went to Primary as a Sunbeam for the first time on Sunday. He is growing up to be such a sweet boy. We talked about this transition from nursery to a "class" for several weeks. He thinks that they should still have toys in class, but overall, he says that he liked Primary. We've struggled in finding a good pediatric neurologist for him . . . I miss the medical care in the DC area.

Erik is busy at work and being a good dad. He is also busy with helping others find jobs. He always takes time to help around the house.

Sheila is balancing motherhood with house-elf duties and some community college courses related to financial management. She is also preparing to lecture at a community college at the end of the month on education and at-risk students.

We recently had some old friends over for a couple of days, and we had a great time playing with their son Max and just chatting up a storm.

We do have pictures. Someday I'll get a chance to post them.

Gratitude

We are grateful for our green-eyed and blue-eyed little boys. We are grateful for their quick laughter, unending desire for tickle fights and chases, and love for pasta. In our house, mac-in-cheese is known as "Dad's pasta." He gets requests for it quite often.

We are grateful for the blessings of opportunities. We are grateful for our educations and for the friends and colleagues we have made along the way. We are grateful for the freedom to study and pursue the topics of our choice. We are grateful for employment--for the resources it brings and for the benefits of hardwork.

We are grateful for God, for the gospel of Jesus Christ, and for the knowledge of the purpose of this life. We are grateful for forgiveness because, goodness knows, we aren't perfect.

We are grateful for service; it helps us forget about our petty and not so petty worries. We are grateful for prayer and inspiration; we have been amazed at how prayer and inspiration can give us the direction we need to give real aid to others. In the past six months that we have worked in helping people find work--we have been humbled to recognize connections that we wouldn't have recognized on our own.

We are grateful for supportive family. We are grateful for loving friends. We are grateful for those that listen first and delay judgement. We are grateful for the examples around us that teach us how to be better.

We are thankful for humor, chicken nuggets, good health, straws, leaf blowers, fun cards that come in the mail, Chikfila lemonade, Merritt's new grocery cart harness, our garage, cinnamon, and children's movies that are also entertaining for those over 12. We are grateful for our nightly dance parties--tonight featured Moby, Vanilla Ice, Bobby Brown, and Beastie Boys.

We are grateful to have one another.

Christmas 2009

We enjoyed a fun and peaceful Christmas this year. Last year we were in the throes of change. This year, we were surrounded by family, friends, and sweets.


As soon as I fix all of our electronic problems, we'll have pictures. Don't hold your breath.


A week ago, we had FHE with a couple of other families. Dinner was delicious, and we had a chance to reenact the birth of Christ. The host family had a box of outfits to match each of the roles from the angel, to Mary, and the shepherds. The box was a Christmas gift (complete with a camel hump for the family dog). What a great idea and we enjoyed using the outfits.


We spent the day before Christmas Eve driving around the Dallas area dropping off sweets. It started with Everett going to the door with Erik, knocking his special knock. But, pretty soon, Merritt made it known that HE wanted a turn going to the door with Dad. Pretty funny stuff as we see him assert himself at such a young age. We enjoyed seeing lights in the neighborhoods, and Merritt's response was always,"OOhhh, wwwoooowww!" as he pointed to the lights, his eyes wide. Can't get better than that!


Christmas Eve we lounged getting ready to host everyone on Christmas. We went to Grossology in a newer museum and found a version that was better for older kids. And, then it snowed and snowed and snowed.


We had a white Christmas. Good friend Connie and her friend came over on Christmas day along with Grandma, Poppa, Aunt Debbie, and Uncle Apple. It was fun to find out that our guest knew some of the people we stayed with when we were in Venezuela, like forever ago. A revisit with Ella Baila Sola. We thoroughly enjoyed the day (conquering the pumpkin shortage, rolling eyes at Sheila's failed "no fail rolls," and teaching the boys about Christmas).


Evy made name cards for the table . . . green stars with glitter. They were so cute. Sheila cooked the turkey this time, and it actually turned out great. The best sides of the meal were Poppa's cranberry salad and Aunt Debbie's Ambrosia salad.


We don't "do Santa" here . . . we talk about Baby Jesus and his birthday. We talk about the importance of Jesus Christ. We talk about showing love for others and what presents represent. Evy and Merritt enjoyed opening their gifts over the course of two days. We were all thrilled with the generosity of family and friends.


We had time to reflect on our blessings, the awesome opportunity that we have to be parents, and the incredible time we are having along our journeys.

Our Holiday Treats

Here are two of the recipes we used this holiday season . . .

Sugar n Spiced Nuts (from allrecipes.com)
3 egg whites
2 tablespoons water
3 cups walnut halves
2 cups pecan halves
1 cup whole unblanched almonds
2 cups sugar
2 tablespoons ground cinnamon
2 teaspoons ground ginger
2 teaspoons grated orange peel
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1 teaspoon ground allspice
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves

In a mixing bowl, beat egg whites and water until frothy. Add nuts; stir gently to coat. Combine the remaining ingredients. Add to nut mixture and stir gently to coat. Spread into two greased 15-in. x 10-in. x 1-in. baking pans. Bake, uncovered, at 300 degrees F for 20-25 minutes or until lightly browned, stirring every 10 minutes. Cool. Store in an airtight container.

These smelled heavenly . . . some parts were a bit sticky after baking. I just let them set out the rest of the day and overnight. No stickiness in the morning. I only used pecans, pistachios, and almonds cause I don't like walnuts . . . but after tasting this, I do think that the walnuts would add another nice dimension.

Orange Cranberry Drops (from allrecipes.com)
1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/4 cup butter, softened
1 egg
3 tablespoons orange juice
1/2 teaspoon orange extract
1 teaspoon grated orange zest
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup dried cranberries

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F(190 degrees C). Lightly grease cookie sheets, or line with parchment paper.

In a medium bowl, cream together the white sugar, brown sugar, and butter. Stir in the egg, orange juice, orange extract, and orange zest. Sift together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt; mix into the orange mixture. Stir in the dried cranberries.

Drop cookie dough by heaping teaspoonfuls, 2 inches apart, on the prepared cookie sheets.

Bake for 10 to 12 minutes, or until edges are starting to brown. Cool on baking sheets for 5 minutes, then remove to a wire rack to cool completely.

Only made about 20 cookies, not 36. I didn't use the orange extract, I just added more orange zest and a little more juice (but not very much).

Drama During Dinner

Two of my sisters and my parents came over for dinner. I had a lovely time hanging with Deborah as she slaved over sugar cookies. I enjoyed seeing Jennifer and her family. It was sweet of my parents to come over given all that is going on right now.

We were all sitting down to eat, the children had food, the adults were about to chew, and Everett had a seizure. (insert frustration)

The poor kid. There isn't any clear indication right now of what caused it. We think it was a febrile seizure, but it was a rather weird one. Clouding all this is just weirdness of his reaction and the fact that he had a bloody nose earlier in the day. Poor guy.

After speaking with the pediatrician on call, we agonized about the right thing to do (ER, acute care facility, pediatrician tomorrow, etc). And then he become really sick. We kept him home for the evening and are going to look for a neurologist tomorrow who can hopefully see him before the holidays.

I thought we had left those seizures behind since it has been over a year since he has had a full-blown seizure. Hopefully, it is just that . . . a febrile seizure.

At the end of the experience when Everett was finally coherent . . . he said,"my tummy ache is awake." He didn't finish his dinner because he seized in the middle of eating. I asked him if he was hungry, and he said he wanted,"Dad's chips." Dad's chips are, as we discovered, the chips that Erik gets when we go to Jason's Deli.

We love that little boy!

Fertility Quest . . . a mini-Post on Things I Don't Do

Those new to my ramblings on being infertile can click on the right for more gory details about our process to get pregnant with Merritt. Infertility has been my struggle. A couple items have been on my mind a bit . . . so, I'll blog here and there about them as time permits. I share these posts as a voice to create understanding, as a voice to share with those who also struggle with infertility, and as a way to create meaning for myself.

I've been surrounded by lots of babies recently which makes me a lucky lady. Small itty bitty little ones with perfect fingers and toes. Quiet sighs and downy, soft skin.

What comes with the expectation of and arrival of those little beings are the conversations around babies. Those conversations don't bother me anymore. But, I don't really have much to say in a couple of them; I just listen. It may be because I just don't understand what it is like to not struggle in getting pregnant. It may be because I still try to be ruthlessly honest with myself about future babies because I already lived through the "hopeful" years that were really disappointing.

I don't get it when other ladies say that they are "baby hungry" as they are eager to hold babies and talk about babies and express hope and plan for a next baby. I don't get it, I think, because I don't allow myself to get baby hungry. You'll never find me saying with excitement, "OH, I want another one." I don't have the flexibility to say to my husband . . . you know, I think it is time to try again, would you like a Christmas baby next? or say casually, I think it is time for another, let's start tonight!

Nope, our process is one that, as a start, involves physical concerns like can I handle the IVF process again, do we think I'll handle carrying the baby to term, then we get to financial and insurance concerns, and then the selection of a local doctor and I'll need to fly to DC for the embryo transfer and etc, etc. Or, as a matter of prayer, are we prompted to reignite our adoption process? I can't seem to frame the matter simply.

I guess it is just a little more complicated with me, go figure.

I don't try to think too far ahead in the "family composition" arena. Kind of hard for me because I am a planner. But, I have learned and am relearning all the time to be flexible with things I have no control over. So, I don't hope to have another boy or "a girl now" or twins or enough kids to perform four part harmony choral pieces. I don't know if we are meant to add other children to our family. I try not to think about it; I simply seek to be content with what I have in the "right here and right now."

I do employ lots of tolerance when a lack of understanding prompts comments that would have taken me a bit to swallow in the past. I employ ignoring tons, too. I am learning from the perspective that doesn't struggle with infertility.

I am very frank when I talk about my struggle with infertility. I talk to men and women alike; some, I am sure, may think "too much info, lady"--but, when you bring it up, you've got to be prepared to hear about it all. And, the reason I am frank is I have heard over and over . . . "you know my (insert relationship) . . . sister-in-law struggles with getting pregnant and I want to be a support but am too afraid to talk to her. I had no idea about (insert any number of misconstrued pieces of information about infertility) . . . ."

I do understand a desire to have children and sometimes allow a "maybe" hope of more children. I have been blessed to have my own two little miracle baby boys. I cherish every moment I have with them and remind myself that I can put up with the incessant, "But Why?" questioning because that little boy innocence will not be around forever.

One more thing presses on my mind this evening (12:38 in the morning rather) . . . those that struggle with the isolation that comes with experiencing and living with infertility (I do have one friend in mind, specifically, that I worry about) . . . I hope you find the answers you are looking for, I hope you find a community of commonality that brings you comfort, I hope that you know that there are those that understand and there are those that are eager to understand, and I hope you find peace in the process of your own endeavor to become a parent(s).

Happy Anniversary to Us

So, yesterday we were at dinner with my family--GreatGrandpa Albritton made a stop in Dallas.

And, my family wished us a happy anniversary. Erik and I looked at each other and were like, "oh, yeah! tomorrow is our wedding anniversary." What can I say? It has been an exhausting year and exhausting couple of months.


Happy Anniversary, Erik! We couldn't have predicted what a ride the past 13 years would have been.

Snow Flurries

We had a bit of the white stuff last week. Evy was so eager to help his dad get ready for work.

"You go to work?" is the first question Everett asks his dad every morning.

Chills and Thrills . . . in short spurts, slurred speech, and choppy comments

Colder weather . . . no more yellow jackets in our fireplace!

Gas leak--oh, yeah, that was fun. We figured out it is in our fireplace. Capped but not fixed yet. Bet that fact makes you want to come over and breathe our air. Whheee awwe okkkahhhy rrreawwwy.

Broken computer, broken printer, broken camera, and broken DVD player. Posting a reward for information that leads to the apprehension of elf/demon/wicked entity that is causing all this ruckus.

Christmas Celebration at church. I'm in charge. Was told to plan for 150 (they thought that would be on the high end). I didn't think more than 80-100 would come. Over 200! Yes, 200 people, were at our celebration. Thrillingly, exhaustingly busy with a positive result.

All of us having been battling colds. Boys are better now.

Merritt added, "Evy" to his words . . . sounds like,"Ewwy." He is one boy demolition crew. Good thing he is so cute when he does it.

We are looking forward to Erik taking some time off before the New Year. It is about time. I am sure we will be working on projects we haven't had time to tackle. Boring things like organizing the office and hanging hooks. We are going to love it! (plenty of doughnut runs in the process)

First Trip to Austin with Merritt

We had a wonderful time in Austin a couple of weeks ago. It was our first trip back to Austin since we moved back to Texas and it was well overdue.

Merritt turned one while we were there. We still have yet to have his party. But, he didn't care. And, for his birthday presents . . . skillets. He is in love!

We had the great opportunity to meet our new cousins and witness the "legal" part of their adoption finalization--they were family way before this ceremony happened. It was a wonderful experience, and one I will always remember.

We visited with Pa and Nana and enjoyed breakfast while the boys cruised the house and Evy fished off the pier.

A stop at the Children's Museum allowed Evy to play with some of his favorites . . . tools!

For Merritt's birthday lunch, we had spaghetti in a train! Awesome!

Merritt loved facing forward in his carseat! (love our swarthy baby doll?)

They enjoyed staying at the hotel. Or at least trying to convince the parents to let them ride!

Other noteworthy aspects:

• My sister fed us during our pitstop in Waco. Gotta love my sisters!
• Trunk lock mechanism "broke" on the way to Waco. Good thing I listened to the prompting to bring both sets of keys. We found only one key would work to open the trunk.
• Though we tried to get together with friends while in Austin, Sheila was too sick.
• Ken's Donuts still rock!
• We realized we need to get out of McKinney more often.
• Though Austin has changed over the time we've been gone, we still love that town!
  

Other pictures we loved:

For P'Real!

(We've been discussing things that are "pretent and p'real" for several months now with Everett. I love some of the verbal quirks that young children have.)

And our schedule is so over-packed, FOR P'REAL!

I am eager to journal the details of some of the amazing experiences we have had. But, I just can't get a moment. Between Erik's calling and my calling in our church, there is just not time. The danger of waiting to journal is you lose the details, and the details are what brings the experience to life. We have had a meeting with a group or individual almost every night for the past 8 weeks. Tonight, we have nothing scheduled but the house needs attention, etc.

I think we are going to watch a movie.

I do want to share with you how humbling it is to work alongside Erik as he strives to fulfill duties as Ward Employment Specialist. The employment needs of right now are particularly overwhelming. It is absolutely insane some of the qualifications that these unemployed and underemployed have and the effort that they are putting into their job search with results coming months and months and sometimes over a year into being unemployed. In short, it hurts, in a sense, to experience their frustration, pain, shame, loss of confidence, and powerlessness.

We feel blessed to be employed. We feel blessed to have health insurance. We feel blessed to have a house (I guess we talk so much about people losing their homes that Evy will ask several times a day,"Do they have a home?" as he points to a person walking on the sidewalk or driving a car).

We feel blessed to have supportive family and friends. And we feel blessed to have the Gospel in our lives. Neither one of us would have the time to accomplish the work, the chutzpah to believe that we can do this work, or insight we desperately need to (1) fulfill our callings and (2)be parents without direction and blessings from our Heavenly Father.

So, if you are unemployed or underemployed you are in our prayers. If you are gainfully employed, take a moment and be grateful.