The Aquabulb

For Father's Day, Erik became the grateful owner of an Aquabulb. I know you've seen them advertised on TV. Erik has one plant that just does not do well without daily TLC.


So, here's our experiment with Aquabulb.

This Morning

I wasn't exaggerating about the plant needing some help.

This Evening

Eggorama Fun

Erik accomplished many things this week, but I bet he considers this the highlight.

Happy Longest Day of the Year!!

More on the summer equinox.

If I Was A Betting Woman

I would bet that Everett will serve his mission where they serve beans and rice as a staple for every meal. This kid loves beans (lima beans, pinto beans, black beans) and rice.

"ICE!" he excitedly exclaims when he sees what is on the table. In fact, this morning a door closed on some of his fingers (insert parental horror) and when I offered "ice" while he was screaming bloody murder and he said "yes" I thought he really wanted ice . . . no, he wanted rice. In fact, the ice terrified him.

Sheila's Birthday: The Recap

I had a marvelous birthday weekend with my family and my sister's family. I had a great time hanging out with my sister and the kids while the dads slaved away on this duo birthday-Father's Day holiday weekend.

Erik and Phillip pulled up the linoleum in the basement bathroom, removed the toilet, found a tank to fix the toilet, and TILED the bathroom floor. We are getting ready to grout and replace the shower door and the sink. This was a major project that we couldn't have attempted on our own without them. Thanks, you guys!

The dads had a smashingly great breakfast on Sunday . . . and we enjoyed ourselves so much that we finished eating way too late to make it to church on time. We also had a great Father's Day Dinner out on the back. (Erik grilled steaks for all of us.)

Preston, Everett's cousin, and Everett get along famously. It is funny to watch Everett try and mimic Preston after he has gone home. It is like he is building up his skills to show his cousin the next time he sees him.

MMmmm, Tasty!

Everett was eating his hotdog and lima beans for dinner (he LOVES lima beans) and after every bite he would say, "MMMmmm, TASTY!" with the biggest grin on his face.

He lives to see the "trash truck" from our living room windows. In fact, he begs me several times a day to see the "trash truck."

Today, he had everyone at the doctor's office cooing because he was stuck in a stroller for over an hour (sonogram time again) and didn't fuss a bit. And, I was dully warned that the second child would be much different especially since my first child was so well-behaved. (It cracks me up what people tell pregnant ladies!)

He is now requesting to call "Dada" several times a day. It doesn't really matter that he only waves at the phone rather than using his very clear "hello" to say hi to his dad.

Happy Birthday, Sheila!

Yes, it is my BIRTHDAY! So, avoid those yucky Friday the 13th shows and horror-like viewing and take a moment to celebrate . . . ME!

15 Weeks

Tomorrow marks the 15th week of this pregnancy. Our current due date is December 4th.

I haven't gained much weight to speak of . . . and have actually lost a couple of pounds in the past month. Go nausea.

But boy has my figure changed and quickly! Just as with Everett, any pressure on my abdomen is agonizing. So, I've been in maternity pants for several weeks now.

At my check-up last week, the doctor had a difficult time getting the heartbeat. This totally cracks me up because the baby is just always positioning to be at the most awkward spot for pictures/sounds. Everett was just like that. I've already felt some fluttering which is more reassuring to me than any sonogram or heartbeat.

I go in next week for another sonogram to check the cervix.

Marvels of Maryland

My sister Mandy and her family are living in Maryland for the summer. That constitutes Marvels #1-4!

We had an excellent time visiting them this past weekend. (I know, I know, it is almost the weekend again; cut me some slack here!)

We ate some delicious chicken lasagna and went to a great PARK: Marvel #5

This is Everett climbing up a small slide. Yes, my little boy who took forever to get moving is now on the move!

Super Hero Preston is climbing the most fabulous web of ropes. I was so impressed to see him get to the top.

The next day we just played all day long ending it with a trip to the pool--Marvel #6. This was no ordinary pool. The kiddy pool was gigantic with a tent over a good portion of it (genius idea). The "regular pool" had at least two slides with several waterworks. It was hot and yucky and the water was perfectly refreshing. Everett, much to his father's delight, developed a taste for going down the slide.

Marvel #7--The Balloon Rocket I brought for the boys to play with together. Yeah, when you let go of the balloon, it makes a horrendously high pitched scream. My goal is to get a toy for the next visit that scares both the kids *and* the parents. Go me.

Sunday we hung out as well and went home early in the afternoon. We had an excellent time and can't wait to see them again.

By request, I took these pictures of Everett . . . it was his request. Enjoy!

Emergency Preparedness

So last week we got some humdingers of storms. Knocked out power, cable, internet. Downed wires, trees, and flooded areas.

We were pretty lucky. No structural damage to our home. Just some blastedly inconvenient internet and phone outage for 48 hours with a long commute home for Erik.

As I watched the news, I realized that there were a couple ideas of Emergency Preparedness that would have come in handy for others and myself--

1. Keep at least a 1/2 tank of gas. Well, I always thought,"Why a half tank when you probably need a full tank and to keep a full tank I'll have to stop at every gas station along my driving path."

What I saw: People didn't have any gas and needed to get to work but were unable to because all the gas stations were without power. People didn't have any gas and were planning to refuel to make it back home. If only they'd kept their car 1/2 full.

2. Keep a list of important phone numbers handy. Well, duh on this one right. But, my realm of important has expanded after not having internet access for several days. Important is basically my entire address book, which I store on my computer and and in my email. And, I will stop hounding Erik to throw out all the old phone books he keeps, like we have 10 phone books.

When You Need It Fast

So, I know that it is a lame picture . . . and don't bother trying to click the "play" button, but this was the best I could do in getting a shot of Erik's brother, Steve, acting in a Western Union commercial that we've seen on our own little TV right in our playroom.

Keep an eye out for it!

When Hoover Isn't Enough

So, one of the things I have learned about raising a toddler is the number of times a day I find a mess, create a mess, lazily watch Everett make a mess. And then think,"I should really clean that up. Wait, that means I need to get the vacuum." The messes range from styrofoam bits, crackers (goldfish are the worst), cheerios, feathers from a boa, to unidentified CRUMBS.

I found this the other day--

I figure that if it can handle crap from the garage floor, it can handle my toddlerstyle basement/kitchen/livingroom/diningroom catastrophes. But, it isn't really portable and it is almost $200.

Don't get me wrong, we have a vacuum and a hand vac. But, the vacuum is hard to haul up and down all our stairs and too big to really use in the bathroom. The hand vac goes dead after 2 minutes of use . . . and sometimes I am too lazy to pick up the whole pretzels which are not good for the hand vac to eat.

In my "sickroom" activity of watching TV, I saw the SHARK.

It says that it lasts for 90 MINUTES of continuous vacuuming. Think of all the messes I could clean before I needed to recharge it. Since it is only 4 lbs, I could strap it to my back, ready for use at less than a moment's notice. And since my favorite jewelry store up and left town, I may ask for it for my birthday, which is on Friday, the 13th. And, yes, I was born on Friday, the 13th.

Grooving with Evy Part II

If you made it through the previous post, you might want to skip this one. It is more of Evy's dancing with Dada along for the groove. This post is mostly for the g'mas who want more--

Enjoy!

Grooving with Evy

Everett is talking more and more and understanding most things these days. He is overall a happy, cheerful little boy. He is a maniac in the water and loves to take baths (requesting several a day). He does have his "age appropriate" moments where he tantrums when he doesn't get what he wants in his time frame. The center of his world is his dad, and he loves to chase the cat around the house.


First thing in the morning is "EAT" followed up by "SHOES, GO, CAR!" When he has his shoes on and I don't, he is very quick to tell me to put on my shoes. Ever on the move!


He wants to "wok" when we are outside and tells us about every car and truck that he sees. Right now he is working on saying the words "bus/van."


This morning was a treat when we got to see the garbage truck and then the recycle truck TWICE! Very exciting moments around our house and the smallest thing is appreciated.


There is something magical about "Ball" because he lights up at the mere suggestion, loves to play ball, and has a pretty good arm for throwing.


He can find trash quicker than any of us and is as quick to throw it away. At Dairy Queen today, he picked up the napkin he used and threw it in the "Thank You" trashbin without any prompting as the adults were chatting away at the table.


He looks forward to being in charge of "paying" for purchases or checking out library books because he can hand over the plastique. He also knows that holding onto the receipt is a special job.


He loves to wave "hi" and "bye"--isn't shy about giving kisses, but really prefers to give you the ROCK!

When we ask him to smile, he does this:

Eventually, we get to this:

Yes, he loves to sit in containers:

But, he is super funny when he wants to blow out a candle:

One of the best parts nowadays is the dancing!

Chills and Thrills

2 Week Update

We have been really busy the past couple of weeks. We had an excellent Memorial Day weekend which included a friend from grad school-Raegen, lots of pool time, great food--Indian--breakfast burritos--watermelon--fajitas, and a crepe breakfast with our good friends the Hughes. (We also got to see the proofs from our photoshoot with Amy. I can't wait to show you some of the shots she took! If you are looking for a talented photographer who is a gem with kids--I highly recommend her.)

Everett: I am all about CARS and TRUCKS! I recently saw a car in a garage and thought it was so cool that a car was in the house! (poor kid doesn't know that this is the norm in many areas of the US) Mom says that I am totally acting age appropriate and keeping her and Dad on their toes. All I know is that I am having a GOOD time!

Sheila: Forget the Zofran, what a bust! I did have a bit more energy this week and was even able to go get ice cream with a friend this afternoon. I am scheduled to have sonograms to watch my cervix because of the complications with Everett's pregnancy. So far, so good. But, given that I am going every two weeks to the sonographer, we'll see how long it takes before they let it "slip" what the sex of the baby is. Yes, we are waiting until the birth.

Erik: Doing well! Enjoying the fact that pools are open. Had another good conversation with a firm in Dallas.

This weekend we are going to finally wash our car (!), help with a baby shower, put some extra effort into our yards, and maybe finish the basement ceiling. We are especially excited that Sheila's sister, Mandy, and her family will be in driving distance for the summer. Sheila is really excited about this as she'll have some of her family with her for her birthday!

Mommy's Crankerpanks Day

Today was especially hard. Lots to balance--work, Everett, being sick, Everett being sick, and that overriding issue of having a clean, let's say "picked-up," house.

I am cranky. And, I mean royally cranky. I went to Target to get a few necessities and took it personally whenever someone was in my way. I try so hard to be patient because I know that I am being ridiculous, but I just am still irritated when someone saunters across my path blithely unaware that a pregnant (I don't look pregnant so how would they know) lady with a toddler are struggling to get the shopping done. In fact, one lady acted like *I* was in the way. I can't imagine.

My saving grace was when we picked up Erik at the bus stop this evening. Bag in hand, smile on face, ipod buds in ears, I was so relieved to let him know that Everett was "all his." And, he happily accepted it.

Right now, he is trying to convince Everett to keep *some* of the water in the tub.

Set limit, reinforce, set limit, reinforce. repeat.

I Think I Fed Everett Cookies for Dinner

I sat down to check email this evening and realized that Everett and I didn't have a sit down dinner. I've been eating in small quantities for obvious reasons, and Everett has just followed along. In fact, the last item he ate was from a crinkly cellophane wrapper . . . fig newtons . . . and not the homemade kind, either.

After thinking about it for a couple of seconds, I realize that figs have lots of positives--high in fiber, no fat, no cholesterol, and I heard that one fig newton has more fruit than a nutrigrain bar.

Everett, who will never let us put him to bed hungry, didn't fuss at all when I laid him down. So, I guess he is okay with it.

And so, going along with the idea of breakfast for dinner, we had cookies for dinner--not after dinner, just for dinner.

"David, I need a date for Prom!"

A friend of mine, El Grego, introduced me to American Idol (AI for those who know) years ago. I didn't really pay much attention until then as I found the best show for talent search was, well, Star Search. Watched hours and hours of Star Search growing up.

I just spent an hour of my life watching the AI finals: Duo of the Davids. And, it was pretty enjoyable. I don't watch AI every week or every other week. I may watch one or two episodes during the season and keep track of it through the recaps the next day.

It is so funny to watch the audience, read the posters (this post's heading), and spend more time picking apart the judges' comments rather than the performances. But, this evening I was reminded of defining moments. Moments where you discover a part of you, moments you never forget, and moments that will define you far into the future. One of which I wanted to capture~

I was the only teacher in a locked-down child psychiatric unit that was a short-term facility in the inner-city of Chicago. Our work was to assess and stabilize the children as soon as possible and then transition them to situations where they could flourish. Latrice, a 13 year old with a broken front tooth, was one of the most challenging students I had ever had the pleasure of working alongside. Every moment was a battle. Every minute you were on your toes hoping that the next thing you said or did would spark something for her.

She was ready to pick a fight with everyone about anything. Most days she scared me with how intensely her hate struck each of us. That was her armor.

Latrice, the youngest of 10 children, seemed to have a hardened criminal mentality, but she was really a caring person. Her mother had very limited cognitive abilities. Latrice would hoard food from her own meals and then give it to her mom when she visited.

After a couple of weeks, I built enough trust with her to allow me close enough to ascertain her reading level. Latrice could not read; her literacy prowess was that of a preschooler. Any interaction before that established trust was a fruitless power struggle--a physical, emotional, and verbal struggle.

It was on a Tuesday afternoon. I had managed to work her schedule so that she was with me when I had fewer students in the classroom. It was her last day before transferring to a residential facility. She wasn't happy about it. She struggled with transitions and experienced a rough morning on the unit. Thankfully, during school she finally agreed to listen to a book on tape. (The only literacy activity I could engage her in without a fight.)

She chose Madeline and listened intently to the story, really enjoying herself. Somehow she had crossed a bridge between her inner-city, homeless upbringing to the adventures of a child in France.

As the tape ended, there was a song in French recorded at the end. As the last minutes of her time with me ticked away, she began to sing softly along to this song. Surprisingly, her voice was devoid of hate, devoid of pain, devoid of anger, devoid of posturing. Her voice falteringly pronouncing the foreign words was that of a child. Her affect was so peaceful.

That was my defining moment. To have the patience and unfailing desire to provide the space and opportunity for a child to be a child.

Chills and Thrills

Everett: My week was super. I am saying more and more words. I now have a word for my blanket, and I am getting pretty good at "cookie." I LOVE popcorn. I ate an entire bag all by myself this week. Mom says that I am showing more of my sense of humor, too.

Erik took Everett to the kitchen for breakfast. He let Everett pick out spoon for his yogurt by saying, "One spoon." To which, Everett said, "No, two!" And he very deliberately took a spoon for each hand. Who knew he had number sense?

Erik: One of my thrills is that I had a really positive interview with a firm in Dallas this week. Everett and I opened "Sjolseth Pool Season" this Saturday. He is such a charmer and tried really hard to swim like everyone else.

Sheila: We all had an amazing time getting family pictures taken by our good friend Amy. Other than that, the week was full of errands, work, playing with Everett, and laying on the floor. This coming week we have a sonogram, a friend visiting on the weekend, and will be trying to get to the pool.

My Letter to Nature

Dear Nature,

I've been meaning to write you all week. I've had some concerns I wanted to share with you. First, you must realize that I have a very nervous constitution and tummy right now. After that realization, the following will make sense.

• Please refrain from allowing animals to vomit obscenely, and repeatedly, on my front steps. Even more grateful I will be if the vomiting did not include raw and recognizable animal parts. (To my readers, the offending animal was not Twiggy. She prefers live animal gifts and after this week, I much appreciate her version.)
• Please refrain from publicizing any spider fights in my presence. I don't care how long I need to drape my slovenly being over the porcelain god of latrines, ANYTIME I see spiders fighting, especially if one of them is a menacing looking creature that looks like it preys on toddlers, I will shriek and kill all creatures with exoskeletons in my path. I must note though that my illogical fear will keep me from disposing of said carcases, and I will just avoid THAT bathroom until Erik can dispose of the remains.
• Please refrain from allowing any flying insects into my son's room. I am especially wary of stinging insects after one roosted in his room this week, escaping many attempts on his life. Erik finally killed it.
• Please refrain from, well, smelling bad. That would help immensely. It doesn't have to be forever . . . let's just say you can start smelling bad in about a month.

I do appreciate the rain, the sunny days, the flowers, and insects when they are outside. I appreciate the rocks, especially as Everett builds his own appreciation and rock collection. I even don't mind the squirrels very much these days.

I appreciate your sympathy and attention in this manner.

A Mom

Dressing Up

Everett is having more fun these days as he has figured out that hats and glasses are not torture devices.

The awesome glasses are from Eva's birthday party (thanks, Eva!).

The outfit is from Aunt Megan (thanks, Aunt Megan!). When Everett saw the outfit, he practically squealed with joy. Once we got the outfit on him, he knew it was special and kept running to the mirror to pose and take a look at himself wearing the very cool outfit, stroking the dragon on the front. In fact, when I changed him into his regular day outfit, he was quite unhappy with me.

The Heat Is On . . .

. . . in our house. Can you believe it? I want me some warm weather. Though, today was bright and sunny.

The heated pools near our house opened this past weekend, and it was only overwhelmingly important homework that kept Erik away. I'm pretty sure we'll be dipping our toes into the chlorinated H2O this weekend.

So, if it is warm where you are, please send it our way.

Chills and Thrills

Sheila: My Thrill and Chill is related to needing Zofran. I got some. I have my fingers crossed. We celebrated Mother's Day last Sunday as Erik will be out of town this weekend. We had a lot of fun and it was the best breakfast in bed, ever!

Everett: My Chill this week was taking a nose dive off of the back patio. It looks like I was in a motorbike accident and that I have road rash all over my forehead and nose. It was a great Thrill, though, to be able to play outside in the nice weather.

Erik: My Chills and Thrills are just mainly related to keeping everything balanced and running together. We are doing well, overall, and are thrilled to be able to watch Everett grow!

Cleaning Out the Water Fountain

A Dirty Car

We know that our car is dirty . . . nay, filthy. Stuff falling off of blooming trees, birds that roost in those trees, the commute, etc, etc. We know our car is overdue for a TLC wash and wax job.


But, we can't figure out this:

Bird Poop Inside the Door Frame

I'm thinking it happened while we left it at the repair shop when we were out of town. But, who knows?

Age-Time

The other day I realized that I graduated from high school 15 years ago. (and since I married an older man, it has been even longer for Erik) hehehe

And, then I caught wind that it has been 25 years since Tom Cruise and Risky Business entered our world.

And, HELLO, Indiana Jones . . . can you believe that snake adverse hero has been around since 1981? 2008-1981=27 years (all you sleep deprived people out there, yes, I had to actually write out the problem . . . mental math only works when I've slept well) And, you must plan to see the new movie, of course.

What happened? Where did the time go? I feel only slightly older than I did in 1993. There was no magical poof at any point where a cloud of smoke enveloped my being and I emerged an adult. Physically, I am a bit different. (Let's say I'm more "mature.") Mentally, that's a toss-up. Financially, I have much more in school debt than I did at 18. Spiritually, I think that this is where the largest area of growth occurred. (That wouldn't be what I would have guessed 15 years ago.)

But, what causes me to really think is what will the next 15 years or 25 years or 30 years bring? I don't know that I want to watch entertainers age as much as I have aged. Nothing against them . . . it just causes me to think about how much I must have changed over the same time period and I don't have the advantages of plastic surgery, make-up artists for the stars, or someone to touch up my pictures.

That's not to say I want freeze time or that I want to go back to being 18 years old again. No way. I am enjoying my life's progression, and I am very prideful of my post-graduate school matching furniture.

I think one of the more exciting elements of change over time is watching the children around us grow up. I know which of my students will be a Pulitzer prize author. One little girl I know has the potential to organize the world. Chances are one of my nephews will be a cowboy and/or a professional stunt man--sound effects guy, and I am convinced that my nieces will grow up to be taller than me. All that sounds a bit shallow in depth, but you get my drift.

So, I'll slather on the sunscreen, drink lots of water, refrain from smoking clove cigarettes, and maybe succumb to flossing on a regular basis; so perhaps the physical aging won't be so dramatic. (Does using satin pillowcases work?)

My idea of a fountain of youth . . . this is the world's largest working chocolate fountain . . .

the Bellagio, Las Vegas

Out On a Walk

We've been trying to push Everett's endurance in walking and helping him develop ease in walking on uneven surfaces for his physical therapy exercises.

Here are a few moments from our walk this afternoon. (What I didn't get was any pictures of the process he goes through to select his walking stick. He has to have a stick to walk [of course] and not just ANY stick will do.)

Chills and Thrills

Erik: Thrills--The past week was so fun and extremely full. I especially enjoyed seeing my brother, Marc. It was also really fun to catch up with my brother Brent and his family. My dad and his wife were good enough to house us and Sheila's family while we were in Austin. In other thrills-- a couple of job opportunities have opened up. Please keep us in your prayers as we have some really viable options that have opened up to help us move closer to family. Chills--Though Everett is a stellar traveler, I will strive to ALWAYS take a direct flight when flying with him.

Sheila: My Thrill was basically seeing family and visiting Austin. I really didn't have any nausea while we were gone other than what I experienced on the travel days (surprisingly, the toilets in the Atlanta airport are extremely clean) and when I did feel sick there were plenty of family members to chase after Everett. I loved seeing how well Everett and his cousins played with each other and hope to be closer to them very soon. Any Chill right now is really related to the yuckies of early pregnancy . . . oh, and obsessing over all the little things that I would like to fix in the house before we sell. No, the house is not the on the market.

Everett: My Thrill was in getting to know my grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles better. They are so much fun. I also learned how to swing all by myself. I got to feed cows. On Monday, I completed my 19th plane ride. My Chill is, well, I don't feel very good when I miss my naps, especially when I am caged in an airplane.

Visit to Austin in Pictures

Family

Rocks in Fountain

Trudy's

Brothers

Swinging By Myself

Chuy's

FingerSabor Wars

Staying Up Too Late

Central Market

Glow in the Dark Bracelets

Ranging Texas Storms

Cousins

Laughing

Talking for Hours on the Front Porch

Jumping

Worms

Uncles

Hiccup in Texas: Just a Teaser

The Blog as been neglected. We took a whirlwind trip to Austin to visit with family, particularly with "I haven't seen in forever Brother Marc."


We laughed. We drove alot. We ate lots of food (or at least I did). It was fun. Coming home took 11 hours. I am tired. So, here is a teaser with more details to follow--I might add, though, that I came home with 5 chigger bites. No one else got the chiggers. (not familiar with chiggers, [insert snickering] look up "chiggers" in google images)

'Tide?

We've been trying to spend as much time outside as we can.

This past weekend we went to Clemyjontri Park. It was incredibly fun! The playground and rest of the myriad of structures are handicap accessible and friendly. The swings are amazing and ANYONE would be able to enjoy flying through the air.

It is definitely a place to spend hours playing (and riding the carousel). Next time, we need to bring lunch.

It was unusually warm that day. Loving those red cheeks!

Rides were $1.50.

We've also been working on our yard. Our backyard is due for a makeover, especially as we get ready to sell the house. I snapped a few pictures. Nothing extremely exciting but something I wanted to capture.

This is Evy's sign for "more."

This is what Everett helped Mom plant.

This is Erik trying desperately to get grass to grow in our swamp.

Fertility Quest: 8 Week Sonogram

So, I am tired. Morning sickness resurfaced last week with a vengeance. Movement makes it worse, especially riding in a car. I barely have a sense of humor in that I don't get jokes these days. It isn't like I am overly cranky; I just don't get the punch line. Erik has been super nice to tell me that they really didn't make sense anyway.

Getting to the sonogram. The heartbeat and the baby's development are fine--right on target. However, the gestational sac is small. The doctor was bothered enough to mention it, but then he said that it doesn't really indicate anything right now. That isn't surprising. Seems like most reproductive issues need two data points to compare in order to decide anything.

Besides, early pregnancy can be pretty fickle. We've come this far--I could start worrying about this now, but that won't help anything.

In all, the doctor graduated me from his care. The graduation, the separation from the reproductive endocrinologist--your nurse--the financial coordinator--the receptionist is almost bittersweet. You have been with these people during one of the most stressful situations of your life. They know your innermost frustrations and reproductive issues. They don't blink and you don't blush when the word "sex" enters the conversation. You get calls from them and see them sometimes every 2 or 3 days. They are witness to your hormonal, crying rants and frustrations. Their phone numbers are more familiar to you than your family members' phone numbers.

So, when he said goodbye, I almost burst into tears. And, yes, the hormones have much to do with that. But, I will miss those good people all the same.

Now, I am off to the land of OBs!

Thus ends this sharing of the Fertility Quest.

Fertility Quest: News

This past Tuesday marked the 6-week sonogram. And, if you've been paying attention, you know that if we made it to the sonogram, then that means that all three pregnancy tests came back POSITIVE.

Yes, we are pregnant. We are thrilled and extremely excited!

This was part of Erik's birthday present. It was on his birthday that we passed the third pregnancy test.

The 6-week sonogram went well. I was actually 6 weeks and 6 days along for the sonogram. So, there was the sac, the fetal pole, and the heartbeat right where it needed to be. And, I say THE because there is one little baby growing right now.

I did hesitate to post and share this with you at this point. I still have the 8-week sonogram to go. And, unlike most females that wait until the 12-13 week mark to go "public," since we've published this experience with the world, it didn't make any sense to wait that long and delay sharing the end of this round, including the result, with you. Just as in any pregnancy, things can go wrong. But then, if it does, that would be part of this process, and we would share it with you.

Everett is oblivious about the news that he will be a big brother. He is still busy being the center as the toddler. I am not worried about transitioning him to anything like a bed or potty training right now. The pregnancy is still early, and I am sure he will get there in his own time just like he did with the walking. (He does tell me when he needs a diaper change--and then runs away from me when I try to change him. Kind of funny when I am not frustrated with chasing him.)

If you are curious about my cocktail--I am still on Endometrin and the every three day estrogen shot and will be until I am 10 weeks. I am feeling much better than I did several weeks ago. The throwing up is much less than with Everett. I am bigger now at 7 weeks than I was at 7 weeks with Everett. That's how it goes, and I am grateful for all of it.

As far as any more Fertility Quest posts--I'll probably put something out there around the 8 week sonogram time. But, I don't know how much more I want to do. There are many other topics that can be covered around infertility. But, honestly, I am a bit, shall we say, tired of putting my most inner weaknesses, feelings, and struggles out there for the world to either accept, appreciate, or snicker at . . . . At least this is how I feel now.

I began this blog in January of 2006 to mark progress on some renovations on our home. When it became clear that I was supposed to circulate pregnancy pictures, I erased those posts and used the blog to share pictures and then updates on my pregnancy/bedrest. It has since evolved to family things with other sharings interspersed. I am sure we will always share about Everett and what he is doing.

And, I guess what I am trying to say is that I appreciated the space to share with you my struggles with infertility. I did not do it to ellipse other struggles. I did not do it to say that struggling with infertility is the worst thing in the world. I did not do it to be pitied. I did not do it to be admired or hated. I did it because we felt someone needed us to share our experience. I did it because I don't want anyone who struggles with infertility to feel as alone as I have felt.

Part of me feels like I am writing a goodbye post. And, in a sense, I am pulling back and privatizing the deepest struggle of my life. My struggle with infertility is not "over," but I know how to manage the frustration, anger, and sadness that is a part of it. That helps me have peace on a daily basis with who I am and my role in this life. Some may not understand why I can't say that my infertility struggle is now in my past especially since I am pregnant for a second time--to that, all I can say is that when you struggle with something for so long, it becomes a part of you and shapes who you are.

I won't be posting frequently about experiencing pregnancy as any good pregnancy book and lots of blogs describe the experience. And, for those that were familiar with us waiting to find out until Everett's delivery if we were having a boy or girl, we are going to wait, again, until the delivery to find out if we have a boy or a girl. I know that frustrated some family members. But, when you go through such a controlled and stressful experience to get pregnant, you try and enjoy each turn and experience as naturally as possible.

We have appreciated your good wishes, your emails/calls/cards, and all of the prayers said on behalf of our welfare. If you have something to share, you can always post something on the guestbook which is to the right of the posts. If you would like, you can mark your comment to be private, and then only Erik and I will read it. If you want to email me, you can email me at sheila(dot)sjolseth(at)gmail(dot)com.

Everett Is In Nursery

Everett's first Sunday in nursery went well. I was in there for the first hour to cover for the staff being shorthanded, but he was solo with the group for the second hour of nursery, and it went well. He loves following what the older boys are doing. And, by far, the most favorite activity is with the BALL.

I am thrilled that he is in nursery and kind of don't know what to do with myself after hauling him around with me during church for almost 18 months. He is thrilled to be able to run and play!

Fertility Quest: When Mother's Day Sucks

Mother's Day, May 11th, is really just around the corner. And let me tell you, it is a day of hell for ladies that struggle to become moms. (And it can be rough for others such as those with relationship concerns with a mother figure, but that isn't the focus for this post.) I still remember all of the Mother's Days where I heard ladies talk about motherhood by saying,"I am so glad that God has trusted me with these children."

In my religion, being a mother is often compared to honoring the holy grail of responsibility from God (people don't use those words but that is how serious motherhood is understood). What was I if I wasn't ever going to be a mom? Can I not be trusted with children? What an outright slap in the face my background, training, and career choice would be if "trusted with children" was the issue.

What a total load of crap this particular day ended up throwing on my often fragile identity in a religion where families are the center. That was, and sometimes still is, my struggle. Thus, the struggle in becoming a mother has been intimately tied with my spiritual being. (I guess it didn't help that Mother's Day is always on a Sunday.) I would dread going to church on this day. I would even try and make up excuses as to why something else was more important to do than to go to Sunday services (I was not successful with this one).

On Sundays when flowers or candy were handed out at the end of Sacrament to celebrate those mothers and would-be mothers, I always left the room just before the tokens were distributed. Always. Why did I need a physical reminder of my heartache? Why did I need to stand up with the other women when I felt a glaring empty hole next to me where I felt my children should be?---Some may say, "You've got it all wrong. It is a token of hope, of appreciation, of potential." Well, it was not for me.

I have absolutely hated Mother's Day as an adult. I don't have as strong negative feelings towards it now. Partly because I have decided to ignore others, partly because I have redefined Mother's Day, and partly because I have Everett.

Ignoring Others

On Mother's Day, especially, I was ALWAYS ready with the sarcastic remark, always. You could say it was part of my mental armor. Nothing trite, insipid, or insensitive passed along without a comment or facial expression, whether I verbalized these comments or showed the expressions is another matter, but the key is I was very, very sensitive about this day.

I've heard it all when it comes to things people say. BUT, no matter who you are, people will have plenty to say whether you had children "early/late/never," whether you "breastfed/bottlefed," whether you are "single/married/divorced/widowed"--and the list goes on. In that vein, no one really has any idea of what they are talking about and shouldn't be talking about others in the first place.

In general, I try to put myself in situations where I am not part of or encouraged to talk about others. I try to ignore others' comments (still working on this one), and try to remember, when my ignoring skills aren't working, that many people say things to be helpful.

On Mother's Day, I now try to let my armor be first and foremost that I am doing all that God has asked me to do. That I am a good person and that my procreation success has nothing at all to do with my success in being a valued daughter of God and working towards being the type of person that emulates strong positive characteristics and follows the teachings of Christ.

Redefining Mother's Day

In order to feel more at peace about this day, I started celebrating Mother's Day as a day to give gratitude and celebration to the women in my life that are strong advisors, supporters, and builder-uppers. Quite frankly, some think that this idea is weird. Some think that this is a day to pay homage to the one that raised you by giving hand-printed plaster casts with french toast and orange juice.

For me, that idea was too finite, too limited, and continued to disturb my sensibilities. Why not take all the effort and money spent in this endeavor and build up women in my life that had supported me, helped me better understand myself, and sacrificed energy to make someone else's existence better-more meaningful!

How do I do it? I send notes around Mother's Day thanking them. I may give a small gift. Most commonly, I send an email or make a phone call.

Stripping all of this down, why do I do it? I do it because then I feel like I can still be a part of Mother's Day. When I believed that I would never be a mom, I could take an active role in building others up on this day instead of feeling sorry for myself.

(Note: This redefining doesn't mean I omit how I thank my own mother on Mother's Day. She gets the card and/or the phone call and some weird gift I pick out just like I used to when I was little.)

Everett
It just isn't fair that Mother's Day became a bit better after having Everett. And, I say it isn't fair because there are plenty of deserving, desirous women out there who struggle with Mother's Day and may never have their own Everett.

Having Everett has made my heart more receptive to Mother's Day talks, talks about motherhood. But, having Everett has not made Mother's Day a day of prose, rose, and sweet nothings. Maybe it is because I still question many things. I still am a little too thorough in picking up the inappropriate comment shared on this day, but that is something I am still working on and may work on for a while when it comes to this issue.

If Mother's Day sucks for you, make a plan for that day that will give you space to have a positive experience. Acknowledging that it sucks and that it is unfair can sometimes be part of the journey to having more peace around this issue. If you feel like you can't handle being around others, don't be around others. There are over 350 other days in the year when you can slave away serving others.

If someone you know struggles on Mother's Day, be sensitive to that. Give them the space needed to find peace with this day. For many experiencing infertility, this day and Father's Day are extremely difficult and can be days of mourning. When couples find out they are infertile, it is a loss that they have to come to terms with and decide how to manage.

Mother's Day, for me now, is a day of gratitude. It is a chance for me to celebrate Everett and Erik. And, Mother's Day doesn't suck as much any more.

Beautiful Day

Today and yesterday were beautiful in Virginia. We've kept the windows open and have enjoyed hearing all the sounds from the outside--the lawn mowers, kids playing, and, oddly enough, big trucks driving through our cluster. The bees are out; our dogwood tree is blooming; and it is in the 70s today. We are both in short sleeved shirts. I know that in some parts of the US you guys think it is already summer. But, we are just hitting springtime here.

This morning we went to Frying Pan Park. I really enjoy taking Everett places like this since he is now able to walk. He enjoyed seeing the animals, especially the ugly turkeys, but spent the most time just sitting in dirt and playing with rocks.

I love this little boy. I love it when his clothes are covered in mud, food, and who knows what else. I love having to wipe his face and clean his nails after playing. Most especially, I loved how he looked as we drove home from the park--ruddy red cheeks, smear of dirt across the chin, and a serenely calm face as he fell asleep tired out from all the excitement.

Quick Update on Evy

Evy's physical therapist visited us today. She is thrilled with the progress that Everett is making and thinks that he will "graduate" pretty soon.

It is so fun to watch him gain confidence in his skills. He is definitely in charge and wants to do things on his own. (I also find it funny when he throws a tantrum. No, I don't laugh in front of him. But, given some of the silly things he gets worked up about, I wonder if I get worked up about trivial things, too. Being a parent provides the deepest level of introspection possible.)

He has recently taken to feeding the cat. Well, he throws food from his plate to the floor and tells me that it is for the cat. The drawback is that the first time he offered his food to the feline--the feline was sitting right beside us and beelined it to the hot dog offering on the floor. He thinks that he is providing an act of service, now, when he throws stuff down. He did get into the cat food recently and found the IAMS version of sustenance mighty tasty.

He loves to throw things away in the trash. I think that it is partly an excuse to play with the dishwasher detergent after he visits the trashbin.

Though he continues to pick up words and signs, (yesterday, he surprised me by using the sign for apple) he has a favorite monosyllable of the day. Today, it is "cur." So, everything is "cur." So, I don't have any idea of what he wants like 95% of the time right now.

He has developed into a short napper and is back to the early rising. His daily nap length is around 45 minutes. If he goes long, he'll nap for almost 90 minutes. I am thrilled to have more time with him awake and more time to get outside of the house.

A minor drawback is that it just makes it harder to get things done like using the computer. HE is in charge of the computer. All of my writing, emailing, bill paying, blogging, and internet searching has to be done when he is deep asleep and sometimes I don't even have time to get to the computer during his nap. He refuses to "parallel play" on this one. He won't use another computer while I use a computer. It cracks me up with how much authority he displays when he is clacking away on the keyboard or using the mouse.

And, his favorite place is "tide?" He loves going outside. Today it is cold, muddy, and rainy. So, it turns into crying "I want outside!"---to crying "I am cold!"--back to "I want outside!"--- Poor kid. I hope it warms up for him soon.

We are having a great time with Everett!

Happy Birthday, Erik!

Love,
Sheila and Evy

Fertility Quest: Allergic to Injections?

Okay, saying I'm allergic to injections is akin to coming up with some lame excuse as to why I didn't do my homework, paid a bill late, won't eat the fish, or forgot someone's birthday.

BUT, I am allergic to progesterone in sesame oil and progesterone in olive oil. Any movement above a slow, plodding walk causes me to wince and cry out like a sissy. I'll give you a guess as to how many other "oils" I want to try right now.

The great news is that last year a new medication was approved that can now replace my progesterone injections---Endometrin.

When the nurse told me about it, I was like, "Are you sure? Because you guys didn't mention anything about this the last time we did this." And, in some weird way, it feels more medically, well, advanced to be shooting up with the medicine instead of inserting it like you would a tampon. (I did go to the suppositories for IVF 2006, but that was well after the pregnancy was established.---And these are pills, not the traditional suppositories--though they are inserted in a like manner.)

But, SERIOUSLY, from where I sit, this stuff looks great! I am looking forward to a painfree derriere.

Fertility Quest: Long and Drawn-Out

I know that all of you are waiting with baited breath to hear news. Well, so are we.

We are still waiting. Each day seems to get longer and longer. The hormones continue to make me feel pregnant . . . remember that I am taking artificial ones . . . so, I can't trust what my body says, just what the doctor says.

BTW, it looks like I am allergic to olive oil, also. I am so lucky.

But, we don't have any new plagues at our house and our coughs/colds/earinfections/pinkeye outbreaks are clearing up.

And, since I can't provide any kind of entertainment right now--be on the lookout for a new post from Erik. (His birthday is Friday and he has promised to write out one of his birthday stories).