We are having an awesome weekend!
One conversation with Everett I don't want to forget while I wait to find time to download the pictures:
While at a park that has some play structures that are new to us---
Evy: Mom, at first, I don't think I would have wanted to try these. But, I will because now I believe in myself.
Me: I know what you mean. When I started swimming, I didn't know how quickly I could swim a long time. Now, I know that I can do so many more things than I thought I could do at first.
Evy: Yeah!
later, when we were leaving . . .
Evy: Mom, did you see how I climbed to the top of the net? And went down the weird slide and tried the monkeybars ALL BY MYSELF? I tried some new things.
Me: Yes, you did and I am so proud of you for being brave enough to try new things. I wasn't always brave like you when I was your age.
Evy: What do you mean? You didn't go to the playground?
Me: I would go to the playground, but if I was scared of doing something, I didn't always try it to become better. I kept myself from having fun because I was scared or shy.
Evy: That's okay, Mom. You can do it now because you believe in yourself.
And, Evy is right, you should believe in yourself. Take the word of a 5-year old. You can do it.
You should know: He is not a risk taker. Physical feats are especially hard for him.
You should see how much determination he has when is attempts something that he is scared to do. Sometimes his legs shake or he flushes a little bit with the exertion or overwhelming feeling of hesitation. Yet, he really, really tries to accomplish it. He isn't always successful, but he continues to get better. He can be shy in social situations with new people. I encourage him to have his own voice rather than speaking for him, and quite often, he takes the plunge (while fiercely holding my hand/arm/leg) to say something nice or offer up something to someone. (yes, he usually is trying to say hi, give a compliment, ask a question, or offer up something that he has to them)
Everett responds so readily to even the slightest feedback. He laps up positive comments and "remember when" stories about his past achievements and good times. He'll quiz you about those times trying to figure out in his mind why it turned out so well.
Often, all I have to do when he misbehaves is give him an eyeball, and he quickly tries to make amends. More often than not, the mistake is made inadvertently. (I always try to be careful before I reprimand to make sure that my response is appropriate to the situation rather than a reactive response to what happened because, if I don't, then I am guilty of using a hammer when a gentle shake of my head would have been sufficient.) When we are able to talk about what happened, he will, of his own doing, say: "I'm sorry, Mom. I won't __(whatever it was)__ next time."
In the face of disappointment, I have seen him rebound from very hard news to try and put on a smiling face (even with tears in his eyes). Often, he surprises me with his knack for trying to describe hard things,"Mom, I have sad thoughts running in my head."
He is teaching me so much about humility, readiness to become better, love for others, and how positive exuberance never hurt anyone.
We should all try and be a little more like Evy who treats each day as it if is the BEST day ever. The BEST dinner ever. The BEST story ever.
And:
You *can* do it!
