A Quick Sjolseth Update That Turned Out to Be Longer Than I Expected

The boys are now 7 and 5.  They run like crazy, love sports, love eating at Indian restaurants, and feel like kings when going fishing with their dad.

Everett is in first grade, constantly loosing teeth, and working on letting go of the training wheels.  His teacher and all who get to know him always remark that:  He is a Thinker!  Recently, he has taken on checkers and chess.  So fun!

Merritt LOVES to do whatever his brother is doing.  He is a fierce protector and runs from activity to activity.  He is still my Perpetual Motion Merritt.  No one can balance being silly, loving others, and keeping us on our toes like he does.

 

This picture was taken at Harvard Square during a recent visit to Boston. 

It was the most epic leaf fight ever. 

I think we were throwing leaves around, in each others' faces, and down jackets and shirts for about an hour.  yeah, we were all itchy afterwards.

As a family, we have been having a marvelous time with our daily focus on serving others!  We are almost through with the Book of Mormon.  I think that it has taken us 16 months to finish it, with reading a short section each day. 

In 2014, we will continue our daily service focus.  Erik and I are excited to be teaching together in Primary.  I seriously am so EXCITED about it.  The past year was very long and hard, and I am looking forward to a refreshing change of being with children and loving their outlook on the gospel and life.

The focus on Pennies of Time over the past 16 moths has been an incredible journey, sometimes with a reluctant attitude--from me.  I am often asked by Heavenly Father to do things with Pennies of Time that I really would not like to dive into, such as:  share on Pennies WAY more than I want to.  But, as evidenced by the response from others, He needs voices to talk about serving with the youngest amongst us. 

My capacity for work and understanding how to juggle competing factors for time has increased exponentially.  I am not perfect at it, and am often up late at night, but Pennies of Time does add value to others.  I certainly don't earn money from it, although figuring out how to do that at the same time would make Erik extremely happy.  We have been amazed at the response from people across the world.  Not everyone understands what I do; there is always some critic out there.  At the same time, I do what I can with those that are willing to go along with me, and I, frankly, don't worry about convincing the rest of the world. 

One of the things I would like to see in 2014 is making more time to write in this space, sharing about our family. 

Just for my own reflection, I thought I would jot down a few notes about some of the things that I have learned over the past phase of life, I guess:

• Deliberate motherhood: working hard to make good choices for my family, having the courage to go against the grain or "the in-crowd" takes courage, consistency, and faith in God that all will work out in the longer view of this experience.  For example:  Many people don't get how I mother Merritt. I.don't.care.  I know what he needs, and I am grateful to have the insight to understand that.
• No service act is small.  I have seen the most gentle, seemingly insignificant, gestures of service have an immense impact upon someone.
• It is those moments when I have the greatest hesitation to reach out that it is the most important that I complete that reach.
• You can't please everyone, and that is okay.  Some people will have a contrary opinion to everything.  That is okay.  They can do that, and so can you if you want.  And, no, I don't have to always listen to those opinions.  :)  Neither do you.
• This life truly is not about me.  Whenever I get caught up in trying to figure out how the next step will affect me, I am always given a reminder by Heavenly Father that the blessings and skills I have now have been placed for me to help others. 
• I wish more parents placed limits on the mindless entertainment that erodes our culture.
• I don't want negativity in my home.  And, I don't want it in my social media.  I actively "unfollow/hide" (or whatever) those influences that do not uplift or teach me.
• I find that not very many adults actively listen to others.  So many are ready with advice, a worse-er experience, or even just a complete change of topic . . . even before the other person has finished voicing his or her thought.  I think it would be powerful if all of us made a more concerted effort to actively listen to one another.  (Just because I listen to a viewpoint doesn't mean I have to agree.)  I bet that an increase of listening would impart a greater degree of understanding of one another.
• I will always make mistakes, even annoying typos on the Pennies of Time Facebook page.  No matter how hard try, I will make mistakes.  I am okay with that now.
• The number of mistakes I make increase when a decrease in sleeping occurs.
• As I get older, I find that I really didn't fully understand how uplifting and empowering the Atonement can be in each of our lives.  This past year provided experiences to witness and experience the blessings of what Jesus Christ did for us.   

Feels good to share all that.

This is a collage of pictures we put together of the boys for their service birthday party invitation.  They taught their friends magic tricks, and we all went to a nursing home and put on "mini" magic shows for the residents.  A memorable experience.

 

Dear Magic School Bus

I have an idea for you:  Breast Cancer

I'd buy it-a video of you traveling through the process of suspected concern to diagnosis.  And, I'd buy it for all my sisters, biological and otherwise.

You could even change the vehicle to, you know, like a hummer limo (I'd suggest leopard-print pink, of course), instead of a school bus.  And, you could take us on a journey from lump "finding," to breast biopsy, to understanding different types of tumors, to breast cancer, and what that means for ladies (and maybe even for some men).

'Cause, I could have used something like that in the month of October.

That is all,
Sheila
_______________________________________________________

I found a lump in the month of October.  That was after the crappy month of September was over, obviously.

I went to my gynecologist expecting her to say,"Great job!  No worries, it is just fibrocystic breast disease."

Nah, I got a quick ticket to a Breast Center for a mammogram.  Except it also comes with a sonogram.

It is quite amazing the science you learn when you go through this (and the Breast Center had REAL gowns, not those stupid, scratchy paper ones that let the wind blow up your bum).  I learned more about mammography as I went through my first mammogram.  They had to get several pictures, use several different sized "plates" until they realized that they also wanted a sonogram.  And, I was able to meet the radiologist.  (I thought that was the coolest!  Usually the radiologist is a faceless someone who sends a report to the doctor and then sends you a bill.)

The tone of conversation there goes from,"oh, this is really routine, once you turn 40 you come and get a mammogram done every year . . ."

(Okay, seriously, EVERY year after 40.)

Then it turns to,"So, did you discover the lump or did your physician?  Have you ever had a lump before?"

To, the radiologist coming in and describing what was seen.  A tumor.  Not just fibrocystic tissue.  Crap.

Then lots of questions from me . . . what kind of tumor, how large, does it affect breast feeding, how can it be removed, how long does it take to get results, what kind of tumor do you think again, how can they tell between the types of tumors you think it might be, how do you spell that, if it is benign:  will it just live in me like a guest?  And on, and on.

The radiologist was great. 

I was referred to a Breast Surgeon.

On the way home, I kept hearing ads on the radio about the best research facility, the best and newest procedures, the best . . . all about breast cancer, because it was BREAST CANCER AWARENESS month. A couple of times, I almost turned the car around and went straight to the research clinic that was being advertised right in that moment.


The emotional aspect to this aside, there is also the insurance aspect, and the physician availability aspect.

You wait for your doctor to get the report from the radiologist.  You get your referral for the breast surgeon and your physician says, "you need to see the doctor within one week.  Call me back immediately if you can't get an appointment."  ACK!  Insurance authorizations, get help from the doctor in finding a surgeon that will open up a spot for you, find care for your kids, and your boob is hurting from all that poking and prodding.

BTW, the mammogram wasn't bad.  I was sore because of the tumor.  Which, from this point on in my life, I refer to as The Pirate.

In the middle of all this, I kind of think it will be okay because no one in my family has had breast cancer.  Then, I find out I am wrong.  My grandma had breast cancer.  (at which point I start counting with my fingers all the "indicators" for having a higher risk of being diagnosed with breast cancer, tell you, the emotional part of this journey is hard)

I receive a blessing in the middle of this that encourages me to keep up my sense of humor, that I will be okay at the end of this long trial. 

So, The Pirate and I go to the Breast Surgeon for a biopsy.

Wonderful women help me take care of my children.  Those women called and volunteered.  I did not have to go through the "black book" of babysitters.  Wonderful women called to check on me and knew somehow that they were needed. 

It allowed my great husband to come along for support.

Biopsy:  where they take tissue out.  My tissue samples were put in paraffin and sliced into pieces for testing.  The Breast Surgeon took a lot of tissue from The Pirate.  I wore two sports bras for a week to help prevent swelling and bruising.  I turned all sorts of colors, seriously.  Though the doctor did numb me, because of the location of The Pirate, it hurt.

Results were ready within a week, I was sore for that week.  I was surprised at how sore and how much it affected what I could do physically.  "So, instead of picking up your son.  Ask him nicely to come over to you and you can sit down beside him."  Bbbwwwaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!  At least the nurse was well meaning.

I have sat in many, many waiting rooms.  Some of the most nerve racking waiting rooms out there.  Sitting in the waiting room at the Breast Surgeons office did. not. compare.  Anxiety.

The end result, the biopsy "of the tissue that was removed" is benign.  Send off the flares and release the balloons!

However, The Pirate is nestled into a part of the breast that causes concern.  Most tumors in that location do become malignant, and, Dear Readers: realize that the tissue that was removed was benign, The Pirate is still there, or here.  (some cancer cells can hide behind tissue, when that was described to me, made the whole image of cancer cells caricaturely evil)

The Breast Surgeon said that she could remove The Pirate soon or wait and check on it in a few weeks once the inflammation from the biopsy has settled.

sigh.

So, I set a sonogram appointment for six weeks, weeks which are mostly gone by now.  Will see the Breast Surgeon again.  And, see how much it has grown and whether to operate in December or just keep checking on it.

BTW, two weeks after the biopsy, severe pain came for a visit.  Inflammation, scar tissue development, nerve damage, and a hematoma the size of a plum.  (Not all people experience this type of pain after the biopsy.)  Thought I was going to die and needed morphine, STAT.  That week was harder than the week of the biopsy.  I will never elect for cosmetic plastic surgery because evidently I will probably experience that pain again.

The good news:  I am healing well from the biopsy.  Maybe a few more weeks (maybe months) before everything is cleared up and the nerve damage is repaired.  But, I don't hurt.  thank.  goodness.

My gynecologist is ready for me to remove The Pirate.  She doesn't like it.

And, along with doctors that are conscientious and care for me:  I have a really wonderful set of friends and family.  Friends and family who prayed for my family.  Friends who were willing to watch my active boys. Friends and family who checked on me.  (and some of those friends didn't even know what was going on  . . .  they just felt they needed to see how life was going for me)  Friends who made sure we had meals.  I love friends and family.

BTW, *I* discovered The Pirate through a monthly breast exam.

Keys are Key

If you have a toddler than can reach the front doorknob by standing, standing on a chair, climbing on a bunch of pillows or the cat------make spare keys for the front door, hide them, and give them to neighbors.


You'll kiss me for the advice later.

Death Duck Exposed

Face it. We are pretty occupied with safety and security in this day and age. Security systems on our homes and our vehicles. Safety gates and monitors for our sweet babies. Paper shredders for documents with personal information. Only using glass to reheat food in the microwave to protect our health.

But, what do you do to make sure that Death Duck doesn't creep through your door innocently looking like . . . dun-dun-DUNN, an naive rubber ducky? Huh?--Speak up! That is what I thought.

Tonight while Everett was sweetly practicing his "Monk washing hands and face" routines during bath time, I noticed something a bit sinister about his sweet "little" yellow rubber ducky. It looked a bit off color.

I compared it to the momma rubber ducky . . . and it still looked off color.

Notice the suspicious spots around the beak. That is what tipped me off in the first place.

The bottom looked pretty gross, too.

It was time to get out the scissors and open up this birdie.

AHA! Just what I thought.

Death Duck is Dead. And don't think that I will spare Fatal Frog if I find him, too.

Is Rubber Ducky Squeaky Clean?