I am starting to exhibit some Nervous Nellie behavior about this process . . . and I mean the process of sharing all of this with you. I'm not nervous about the FET (frozen embryo transfer), oddly.
I am getting a bit nervous because I don't know how emotional I'll get on the hormones. I mean, I know I'll get super emotional, I just don't know how extreme that will be. I don't know what I'll feel like sharing while I am all hormone-al (I am nervous I'll share WAY too much for your comfort). I am nervous about how I'll handle all this sharing if it doesn't go the way we want it to . . . that the procedure might not work, that I might not be able to help you understand, or that I might not be able help you better know what to say in THAT situation.
So, let's go over it.
Let's go deep into "the worst that could happen."
The worst that could happen is that none of my four cryofrozen embryos thaw successfully. That would be sad. But, we would know the day of the transfer. (no agony of waiting) We will have to decide if I want to go through the full blown IVF stuff, again. And the best thing that family and friends can do is say that,"That really sucks and I love you."
The next "worst thing that could happen" is that the transfer goes well, I wait the agonizing time period, I get to the first pregnancy test, and it is a negative. And the best thing that family and friends can do is say that,"That really sucks and I love you."
The next, next "worst thing that could happen" is I go through the series of pregnancy tests (I'll explain why in a minute), and though the first is a GO, the second is a NO. And the best thing that family and friends can do is say that,"That really sucks and I love you."
The next, next, next "worst thing that could happen" is I go through the series of pregnancy tests; and though the tests are YES, I get to the end of this process, something happens, and the embryo doesn't make it. In essence, there is a miscarriage. And the best thing that family and friends can do is say that, "I'm sad. That really sucks and I love you."
I guess that covers it. Really, the best, most supportive thing you can say is: "That really sucks and I love you." It may sound too simple, but anything else becomes a debate.
For Example:
One could decide to say "Better luck next time." At which I would most likely use a profane word [gasp, I know] and rant about the lack of "next times" for someone who is infertile. So, please don't say that.
And, if one decides to say, "It just wasn't meant to be." Well, I think it would take me a long time to decide to talk to that person again because that is a mean thing to say.
And, don't gush with pity. Gushing is uncomfortable. A nice quiet hug is preferable to gushing.
Why multiple pregnancy tests? You may think, "Does the doctor need to do it a couple of times because he just isn't sure?" And the short answer to this is, "yes." The doctor and staff monitor the pregnancy hormone level to make sure that it is increasing at the rate that is necessary for a viable pregnancy.
The following link provides some choices to learn more information: http://www.ivfconnections.com/links.htm
And, despite the Nervous Nellieness, I am "for sure" glad that we decided to share this with you. Though, I did write this an hour ago and am still agonizing over word choice. I think I am just nervous about posting.
Timeline update: I start my cocktail in about a week.
