Contradictions

We are pretty busy and tired here in the Sjolseth House.

I've got some updating to do, but it may be awhile until I get the chance. At this moment, I am trying to get Merritt to sleep right now so that I can too. In the meantime:

We are extremely tired--yet energized.

Evy is happy that Merritt is here--yet he is the most miserable I have ever seen him as he transitions to having Merritt here.

Miserable toddler=Miserable parents

We are having the time of our lives, and it is the most trying time of our lives right now.

We are nervous about several things--yet excited to see progress.

The Cat. What a blessing and a curse.

It has been great to hear from everyone as you send out cards, emails, and letters. Here is to hoping I get to post more next time.

Merry Christmas!

Chills and Thrills

Right now our lives basically revolve around the boys. Helping Everett acclimate, which is proving to be hard right now, and helping Merritt grow and grow.

Everett, besides hitting the terribly screamingly loud tantrum stage "NONONONONONONO" (I think he is trying to cry like a baby, but louder) he is busy figuring out how he can be helpful. He gives both Merritt and the cat the pacifier. He tries to diaper his dog when Mom diapers Merritt. Both Sheila and Erik are trying to provide positive experiences for Everett since it is starting to become clear that Everett is having a difficult time trying to figure out his role and position in the family.

Merritt keeps us hopping. He is still eating, pooping, and sleeping--all things that he should be doing. His cycle is still pretty short, which means that Sheila doesn't get much sleep. Instead, she gets to see how many infomercials run on TV between the hours of midnight and six in the morning. (Erik is on Everett Duty during that time since Everett has also taken to waking up during the night.) Merritt's jaundice continues to clear, and he prefers to be in the middle of the action . . . no leaving this guy in a spot on the side of the room.

"Let It Snow"

A Story In Pictures

True Hardship

Okay, the past 24-36-48 hours have been really hard. Erik is traveling. We've had vomit, bleeding, more vomit, insomniac babies, etc, etc.

I've been thinking during all of it that it was almost comical how each instance overlapped another. I thought about how the more experienced parents would hear about it and either roll their eyes because this is nothing compared to what they've experienced or they would sigh in commiseration, thanking the stars that they've been there and done that and it is done.

And, then I saw on Dateline a short segment highlighting personal experiences with eviction. One clip in particular drove me to be not comedic about the last 24-36-48 hours, but grateful.

A father was evicted. Devastated. It seemed like the circumstances were partly due to a car accident he had. In any regard, what struck me was he didn't know what to say to his little girl. All he could say to the reporter is,"I'm a loser. I'm just a loser." I almost bawled. He really isn't any different than I am. Calamity can strike each of us equally. Bad stuff happens to everyone, even good people.

In one clip his little girl came over to hug her dad, I think, to try and calm him, love him. It just made him cry harder because of the guilt. Seeing that, she backed away, probably not knowing that it was because he loved her that he started to cry harder.

So, I'll be grateful that I had a chance to wipe vomit from a hysterical toddler's face while trying to breastfeed an equally hysterical (but famished) newborn as I sat on our toilet wondering how and if I should isolate the toddler from the newborn (whaaa? how? one of me, two of them, we all have to just be together) and almost successfully visualizing coming out of this without throwing up myself.

I am not in a situation where I have to explain anything like that to my sons. I am able to sit on my own toilet whether breastfeeding or trying not to vomit while trying give the toddler a bath. I don't worry about officers barging into my home and throwing my possessions out on the lawn.

Kind of makes me want to go clean that toilet because it is all mine. Kind of. kind of. Maybe that can wait until tomorrow? Because, I am grateful for it dirty or clean.

"You Scored, But I Won"

It was on our second date just a week from our first date when Erik turned to Sheila and said,"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Sheila paused,"That we are going to get married."

Erik, amazed,"Yeah, just don't tell anyone yet."

We had known each other less than a month.

We've been married twelve years now. Two babies, two graduate schools, several traveling jobs, one long separation due to schooling, infertility, unemployment, a life-threatening illness, disability, traveling abroad, buying a home, around 20 moves, and yet we are still kicking, our relationship stronger than ever.

Married for 4 years, living in Germany

Married for 7 years

Married for 9 years

Married for 10 years

Us right now (aren't we cute!)

I *Heart* Your Blog

A friend of mine, Elise Johnson, nominated me for a "pass-along" blog award. Basically, you pass the award onto fellow bloggers that you follow and find their blog/writing meaningful/fun in one way or another. It really is nice to be noticed! Thank, Elise!

(Oh, and it comes with an all inclusive pretend trip to Jamaica and Europe--oh, and an unlimited shopping spree. You can thank me later, when you are done pretending.)

Here's the way the "Blog Awards" work:
1. Whomever I nominate gets to put this same picture on their blog.
2. Link back to the person who nominated you on your post.
3. Nominate 5 other blogs.
4. Link up to them.
5. Leave a message (comment) on those blogs to let them know they were nominated.

Elise and I are basically only separated by a golf course, and I love that because it makes going to visit very easy. She and I are very similar in many ways, both of our boys are named Everett. I am lucky enough to have experienced her wickedly delicious cookies (that are always uniform in size and perfectly round) and she is one of the quickest to offer up help no matter how busy she is. Her Everett is just three weeks younger than our Evy, and she also has an adorable baby girl. I enjoy visiting with her in person but also reading her blog as she chronicles her experiences as a wife, sister, friend, and mother.

Here are my nominations for bloggery love:
The Nielson Family--We were lucky enough to meet this great couple and their little girl when we first moved to DC several years ago. They recently had a beautiful little baby girl. Jill is an incredible individual and is very frank to share her experiences in life, both good and bad, and has moved me several times when she shares her experiences related to loss. Her husband Drew is the nicest guy, seriously. This is a must read for me on an almost daily basis.

Adventures of Max and Rebecca--Coincidentally, I met Rebecca around the same time as the Nielsons. She lives near me now and I enjoy how she shares her joys and woes, particularly as she shares experiences related to raising Max, her soccer-star preschooler. This lady doesn't let any obstacle stop her no matter if it is a robbery, challenge with potty training, or crazy experiences in replacing a front door. She always brings a smile to my face (and is a talented painter, too).

The Holloway Family--I knew the mom, Mindi, while I was a teenager in Waco. She is the age of one of my younger sisters and a sister to a lady I went to high school with at Midway High. Many blogs are fun to read because you want to stay current on what people are doing---this blog will touch your heart as she very candidly shares her recent experiences with her family, particularly with losing her mother. Mindi doesn't take anything for granted. She has two cute little girls and is expecting a baby boy in a couple of months.

Today's Creative Blog is a great jumpstarter to get the creative juices flowing. It is crafty-crafty-crafty focused. She highlights other blogs that show particularly inspiring handiwork and creativity.

One More Moore has a little bit of everything, which I love. I found her through her extremely sacrificial effort of holding a benefit for NieNie. Not only is it fun and informative, but she has great links on the side. Go Play!

A Player and a Lover

It is so fun to watch Everett's social skills develop. He is constantly initiating play. He just ran in here to start a game of "peek-a-boo" with me. He loves to start tickle fights and jumping games. Evy is also developing a highly honed skill that his uncles have, the art of mimicry. He is getting really good at imitating. We see it the most in how he imitates noises that Merritt makes.

Running games are also a fave and he is pretty good at making sure each race starts with, "Ready, Set, GO!!"

The other night after he went to bed we heard him asking for help. I went in to see what he needed and didn't really understand what he was saying but he seemed scared. I asked if he wanted to say a prayer and sing songs to feel better. He agreed immediately and was quick to kneel down to pray.

He, most of the time, has the gift of obedience (particularly if I am exercising patience--all he needs is a decent chance), and he is always the first to investigate his brother when he hears crying. He understands it if you say you have pain or don't feel good. He'll rush over to give you a hug and a kiss, and if he has his blankie on hand, he "gifts" it to you to help you feel better.

He loves to help and take care of others. When he goes down for a nap or to bed, he always ensures that his cars and trucks are resting peacefully. Evidently, when cars and trucks rest, they rest upside down. Everett is clear on this.

Hibernation

Tomorrow Merritt is one month old. Hard to believe. The past month has been a blur, and I am sure the next one will be, too. His eating and sleeping needs have really put me to the test, and most days I just barely pass.

He doesn't have a schedule except he eats every hour, day and night, (most of the time) and it takes him almost an hour to eat. He is the best pooper around. Sometimes, he poops THREE times within a cycle. I guess he has to because he is eating so much. His jaundice is slowly passing. He really does have blue eyes, and today I actually saw flesh color on his chest instead of that yucky yellow tone.

Merritt actually napped twice today--not long enough for me to nap, but it is at least great to have a "break" where I am not holding him 24/7.

I am sure that the holidays will come and go without much of a pause for me. My sister is coming into town and that will probably be the best chance I have to mark the occasion, festively and spiritually. Otherwise, my days are just about survival--one feeding, one nap, one toddler tantrum at a time.

We are staying close to home most of the time on purpose because 1) Merritt eats ALL the time and 2) We are avoiding cold/flu germs. That means no church, especially nursery. So, come February, we'll be heading back to civilization--maybe a week or two before that, but not much more.

I can hear Merritt squeaking-his signal that he is starting to wake up.

Chills and Thrills

Erik is Thrilled that the University of Chicago's Business School came in #1 again in BusinessWeek. Yes, he is a school snob. He would like to point out that each year on the exact week we have a baby the school comes in number one . . . causal or coincidence?

Sheila is exhausted, no surprise there.

Evy is acclimating to having a brother around and tries to be helpful. He is very quick to offer up a hug or ask for a hug. He has even added the phrase,"I sorry," and he uses it quite often.

Other Thoughts:
Friday night, or was it Saturday morning, Sheila was up at an obscene hour for several hours trying to feed Merritt, help Merritt back to sleep, and clear some clogged ducts (OUCH). Sheila was in pretty bad shape. Sleep deprivation leaves her to not be able to weather any kind of dilemma or setback. In those wee hours, Sheila caught a glimpse of the full moon peering through the tall trees. It was so beautiful. She is so grateful for little pieces of peace such as that to help us keep our sanity in the more difficult hours.

In preparation for the Ward Christmas party, we needed to have a Santa suit. In order to make sure we had one, we went out and bought one. No, Erik wasn't going to be Santa--but he is part of the team making sure everything was ready for the festivities. While Erik was trying on the suit (because I am sure you can't imagine him buying it without trying it on all the available styles including the beard, wig, boots, and saying "hohoho" to his reflection in the mirror), Everett saw him put on the belly and said, "BABY!" What a crack up!

We washed, dried, and folded the laundry this week. Gotta appreciate the small and not so small achievements.

Christmas shopping has been done for awhile. It takes us longer to mail the packages. Thanks to Erik, we have most of them on their way. Two more packages to go. Oh, to live closer to family.

Cool Stuff . . . To Feed the Toddler and Infant

The best idea I've come across in long time in keeping Evy's appetite satisfied and not go nuts carrying stuff:

Snack Time & Cereal-on-the-Go

Freeze the cup of our Snack Time-on-the-Go container to keep your favorite drink cool. The cup has a flip-up straw and a leak-resistant seal. Unscrew the base to enjoy your favorite snack. Found it at The Container Store

Breastflow Bottles

I've had a bit of trouble with Merritt's latch when breastfeeding. We had to supplement quite a bit the first several days Merritt was in the hospital because of the jaundice. As a result of being lethargic and using the "other" type of bottle, he had a very poor latch. When the latch is lazy, I become quite sore. These bottles have been great to keep up all my work on helping his latch improve and allows Erik a chance to give Merritt a feeding, too. Found them at Target

Bebe Au Lait / Hooter Hider--Nursing Cover

I needed something to cover both of us when eating outside the privacy of my home (not that I've been outside the house). Blankets are just too hot for the both of us to use as coverage. A friend of mine has something similar that she found at Babies R Us. I wanted different material and found what I wanted with this duo name brand. It is really quite a handy product. You sewing wizards out there would be able to whip up one of these. Many vendors sell them. Here is the link to the product's homepage.

At Play . . . with Owls

Evy and Erik went to a craft session this week held by our association. They had such a great time and made a couple of owls.

I love the pinecone version!

Found It

In all of the sonograms Merritt could be found sucking on his hand. We saw it today in full living color!

Even though he eats every hour to an hour and a half and I am totally sleep deprived, I know I am not hallucinating when I say, "He is so cute!"

"I Big"

Evy wanted to make sure I took shots of him showing how "BIG" he is, his ever developing manly strength able to lift this massive grocery cart without a grunt of exertion.

I BIG

And what kind of manly showing of strength is complete without a belly shot. This, evidently, required two shots to show an appropriate level of manly belly.

Belly

Our Hero

We are waiting for Daddy to get home to have an all out Tickle War. I can only manage a mini-battle while using one arm to rock a baby and tackling a toddler with the other one, though I am pretty good at typing with one hand.

Our Hero has been so great especially the past couple of weeks. He ran errands, made personal sacrifices so that I can sleep and heal, weathered a wicked cold, consistently ran interference with a toddler that is acclimating to a baby, wiped my tears, changed diapers without complaint, mastered the laundry and the ever cluttered kitchen, ensured I had an unending supply of water, listened with patience at my impatience with not healing as quickly as I want to, and chauffeured us around town.

He is the best!

I'm Busy Growing a Mullet

. . . Cause it is a worthy activity.

My eyes are bluer. My cries are louder and longer (evidence that the jaundice is clearing my system). I'm in charge of the house. Nothing gets done without my cooperation.

Pick ME

Merritt has been eating, pooping, and then taking a 20 minute nap for the past, oh, four days. He doesn't favor day or night . . . all hours are viable options for snacking.

This week can be summed up with two words:

Sleep deprivation

Activities this week in short form:

• Dined with friends from Sheila's grad school. So fun.
• Put up Christmas tree--decided that the rest of the decorations can stay in the box.
• Went to doctor appointments

Erik is back at work this week. Heaven help me. Or come over and take notes for a new sitcom pitch.

Entitled to Powers of Levitation

This afternoon I was struck with the revelation that all moms of newborns need the power of levitation. I happen to do this with each role or situation I take on . . . I develop "entitlement" ideas and notions that just because I am doing A that I should be entitled to B. For example: It was when I was a teacher that I decided that teachers shouldn't pay taxes because it was like I was paying myself to work.

I had just finished feeding Merritt. He was snuggled on my chest with a blanket supported by my arms and a boppy pillow and I had a blanket surrounding me. It is really, really cold today. I am tired. Like last night was the first night I slept, I got a blessed 3 and a 1/2 hours.

I needed to load Merritt into the car seat to go pick up some medicine, but I didn't want to wake him up. The car seat was 20 feet away. I didn't want to get up because it would wake him up, and I would get cold. I also had this idea that I should warm up the car seat's insides with a heating pad to make the transition easier (yeah, right). I could hear Erik and Everett taking a trip to the "potty" upstairs . . . that would take awhile--can't ask them to do it. Then I heard someone on the stairs, YES, I'll get them to drag the car seat over . . . NOPE, it was the worthless cat.

Eventually, I dragged my warm and lazy body up and retrieved the car seat. It all worked out, Merritt went in with minimal complaint, but it would have been nicer, and just all around awesome, if I had the power of levitation. Yeah, it would be awesome.

Cause I could use it to bring me beverages, diapers, missing pacifier, freshly warmed bottles, pee-less clothes, a runaway brother, and a slice of freshly baked bread (once I make some, well, that will take awhile). The power of levitation would be AWESOME.

Our Little Pumpkin

Yes, I know Thanksgiving and Halloween are over and it might be more seasonal to call Merritt my little "snowman" or "snowflake" or "gingerbread man"--but, he is as orange as a pumpkin. I actually took these pictures trying to show that his eyes are starting to look blue, not the yellowy brown. Good try, anyway. The doc says that Merritt will probably be jaundiced through his second month.

At Two Weeks: His weight is now an ounce over his birth weight (GO us since he lost almost a full pound the first weekend here on earth). He is long, strong, and loves watching his dad and brother. He loves music. He does not fall asleep in the car--but he does like to listen to the night-night songs that we usually sing Everett and will settle down a bit if we sing them to him while he is fussing in the car. Since he heard the songs twice a day everyday in utero, they kind of grew on him. He also likes to eat at night, a lot.

The Inexcusable

So, if you have called and we haven't called you back---um, it is because we haven't checked messages. I know, shame, shame, shame. Maybe we'll wait until we have messages in the double digits before we check listen to them--just kidding.

We did make it to the mall this evening, our first real excursion as a family of four. It went well, and it only took me going to five stores to find a nursing bra that fit. Everett had his first taste of honey and lapped it up with his fingers.

We are getting better and will return to real life, real soon. In the meantime, check out this blog while you wait with bated breath by your phone for us to call back--The Coffee Lady

Get It Back

While we were driving back from the doctor on Saturday:

Evy: Treat!
Mom: Treat? Where did you find a treat?
Dad: There was one caught in the crack of his carseat when he got in it.
Mom: Oh.
Evy: Ee fall!
Dad: Did it fall?
Evy: Yeah.
Dad: Where did it fall?
Evy: In my mouff. (mouth)

pause

Evy: Get eet back!

My First Covert Op

Mommy feeding Merritt

Daddy in the shower

Escape the baby gate

Find contraband (lipstick)

Apply liberally to carpet, face, hands, and clothes

Mischief made

Mission accomplished

Too bad I got caught

Must put wipes with spygear

Leaves!